“I went on honeymoon with my husband – and came back with a wife!”
After walking down the aisle, Jae Harvey discovered her partner wasn’t the man she thought he was...
After their idyllic garden wedding in March 2018, Jae Harvey was looking forward to a relaxing honeymoon with her groom. But it was during their five-day break at Centre Parcs that Jae’s new husband revealed that he was transgender.
Remarkably, Jae supported her partner, and that night Jae and her now-wife, Rayna, went out for dinner, with Rayna dressed as a woman.
Now, three years on, the pair plan to have another wedding – this time, as bride and bride.
Jae, 30, says, “When my husband told me he was a woman on our honeymoon, I just wanted her to be happy. I love who she is, not just what she looks like. Our first wedding was wonderful – but Rayna, as she is now, wasn’t there. I want her to be able to have this special day, as her true self.” Jae, 30, met Rayna, 33 – who was then living as a man – via the now defunct social media site, MySpace, in 2010.
DIFFICULTIES
While the pair, who are both graphic designers, became a couple for a year, and travelled to visit each other, the difficulties of a long-distance relationship – Jae lived in Texas, USA, while Rayna lived in Somerset – caused them to split.
But after seven years, Jae got back in touch with her old flame, after seeing she’d recently split from someone.
She came to visit Rayna in the UK, and after just 10 days the couple knew they were meant to be, and Rayna proposed. But as the pair planned their wedding, Jae had no idea that Rayna was battling with her identity.
Jae says, “Looking back, I can see that she was dropping hints. I remember showing her a viral video of a woman who’d put a full face of make-up on her boyfriend while he was sleeping, and she said we should do it. But she never said anything that made me question things.”
The pair’s wedding in March 2018 was a nonreligious ceremony.
Jae says, “We got married in my mum’s garden in Texas. We did all the traditional stuff. I walked down the aisle in a white dress, with Rayna wearing a suit.”
SHOCKED
After the nuptials, the pair returned to the UK, but Rayna’s mental health began to suffer.
Jae says, “Rayna was very low. Then, one day, she messaged me saying she was struggling with her identity and that she often felt disconnected from the body she was in. It was so out of the blue, but I didn’t feel angry or upset. I just wanted to understand what was going on so that I could help, but it was still very fresh for Rayna to discuss, and neither of us were sure what would happen moving forward.”
But it was during their honeymoon to Centre Parcs in Wiltshire in May 2018 that Rayna revealed that she was transgender, and wanted to live as a woman.
Jae says, “She blurted it out one evening while we were relaxing in our villa. She told me that growing up she’d always known she was different to other boys. I wasn’t angry that she hadn’t told me sooner – this was a secret Rayna had kept bottled up for years, I was just glad she was ready to share it with me. I’m bisexual – which I told Rayna when we first met – so there had always been the possibility that I might end up with a woman.
“That night I suggested going out for a meal, with Rayna dressed as a woman. I’ve worked as a make-up artist before, and have lots of trans clients, so I
helped get her ready.
“At the restaurant, the waiter said, ‘What can I get you, ladies?’ and Rayna’s face lit up. After that she had a spring in her step. So was so confident and sexy.”
SURGERY
During their five-day honeymoon, Jae and Rayna mapped out a plan for Rayna’s transition, including accessing hormones and surgery. Back home, Jae continued to teach Rayna make-up and styling tips – they shared clothes and went shopping together. Rayna got in touch with a doctor and began hormone injections in August that year, before coming out to friends and family that December.
Jae says, “All of our pals are like-minded people, so they were very accepting, as were my family. It took Rayna’s family a little longer to wrap their heads around things, but they’re so supportive now.”
In May 2019, Rayna had an orchiectomy – an operation to remove the testicles – followed by a breast augmentation in November. She then travelled to Spain for facial feminisation surgery in March 2020.
Rayna saved up £45,000 to cover the costs.
Jae says, “We know we don’t want children, so I had no issues with Rayna having whatever surgery she wanted. It was important for her to look like the woman she is on the inside. And I find her just as goodlooking and sexy now, as I did before she transitioned. Getting intimate is different, but it’s still just as loving.”
Now, Rayna is continuing with her transition, and she hopes to get more “bottom surgery”. They’re also planning to have a “re-wedding” as bride and bride.
Jae says, “When I look at pictures of our first wedding, it feels a bit odd, because the Rayna I’m with now wasn’t there. This time, we’re going to wear black wedding dresses, and have pink, white and red roses.
“It’ll be a chance to celebrate our relationship, and everything we’ve been through over the years. A lot about our relationship has changed, but we’ve always loved each other, and that’s what really counts.
“I went on honeymoon with my husband and came home with a wife – and I have honestly never been happier.”
HAPPY LIFE
Rayna says, “I’ve always felt different. At school, I had mainly female friends, and I didn’t enjoy typical male hobbies. I loved grooming and self-care. I straightened my hair every day and was meticulous about my eyebrows.
“But it wasn’t until I went to university, and I met people from all walks of life – particularly those in the LGBTQA+ community – that I realised I was trans. I’d find myself looking at other girls, not because I was attracted to them, but because I was jealous. I wanted to be like them.
“But I never told anyone. I would try to raise the subject of transgender people with my girlfriend at the time, just to see how she reacted, but as far as she was concerned, you were either a man or a woman. It confirmed my belief that I had to stay quiet.
“But my mental health suffered, and I started to hate myself. It was only after marrying Jae that I knew I had to tell the truth. After the wedding, something clicked. I wanted to live a joyful, happy life with my new wife, and I couldn’t do that unless I was honest about who I was.
“The honeymoon felt like the perfect time to have the conversation as we were by ourselves, and we had so much time just to talk and be open with one another.
“I was so nervous about losing Jae, but I’m so incredibly grateful to her for being so accepting.
She didn’t make me feel guilty and I never doubted that she loved me. I can’t wait for our vow renewal. Celebrating our love with our family and friends, as the person I truly am, will be a day I never forget.”
❛ I DIDN’T CONSIDER BREAKING UP WITH HER. INSTEAD I SUGGESTED GOING OUT FOR A MEAL WITH RAYNA DRESSED AS A WOMAN ❜