HOW TO LET GO OF PERFECTIONISM

Many of us feel we need to be the best version of ourselves, but that can be exhausting, so embrace being ‘good enough’

Research tells us that the more you strive to be perfect, the likelier you are to feel depressed. Life is about making a series of mistakes that help you grow, build resilience and figure out what you are really good at. If you are terrified of failure, you are less likely to try new things, making life less fun. By constantly trying to prove your worth, you live in fear of judgement and end up trusting other people’s opinions over your own. Perfectionists live in the future, and the present is a high-stakes situation where every mistake has enormous ramifications. You’re constantly scanning for worst-case scenarios, trying to dodge potential for error. Letting go of this mindset will liberate you. Try the 80/20 rule; 80 per cent of your success stems from 20 per cent of your actions. Figure out what brings you the biggest rewards and amplify your efforts around these areas. Which tasks give you the most satisfaction? Focus on those and find ways to waste less time on the rest. Recognise the difference between perfectionism and high standards and set realistic goals for a change, as this will help you to feel you’re achieving. When things do go wrong, see the bigger picture, as focusing on the problem makes it seem like a crisis not a hiccup. Write a list of your achievements, from anything obvious like a promotion, to more everyday ones like being a great listener, and read them on bad days to gain perspective. Feeling calmer, you can analyse why things may have wrong and figure out what you have learned to hone your skills and develop as a person.