MANAGE YOUR REGRETS ABOUT PANDEMIC CHANGES

In the grip of Coronavirus many people made sweeping decisions – ending relationships, moving to the country or quitting long-held careers. If you have regrets, refocus your energy positively

In therapy we advise clients to avoid making big decisions in the 12 months after a life-changing event. This is because when you are traumatised you are often in a reactionary state, so you risk making big decisions based on a desire to avoid, hide or escape the feelings that trauma fosters.

LOOK FOR SOLUTIONS

The whole population has been dealing with some level of trauma, and some of you will have made changes you believed would improve your lives, only to now realise that the new job, home or single status hasn’t made you happier. Before you freak out and feel as if you have ruined your life, take a breath and acknowledge that this is all redeemable. Your regret is less likely to be down to your decisions and more likely your unresolved trauma. Your feelings have followed you, so it is time to employ strategies that will help you work through them.

SCRATCH THE ITCH!

We know that it’s actually regrets about inaction that haunt us, so you’re more likely to feel bad in the long-term about the things you didn’t do. If you are regretting leaving a relationship, moving home or quitting a job, you can create solutions. If you have moved to a new area and miss your old friends, plan to make regular visits and invite loved ones to come to stay with you. Remember, if you hadn’t moved you would likely always wonder how life would have panned out if you had. You may be convincing yourself you let the love of your life get away. Write down all the reasons you ended it, then if you still feel that way, call them to talk things through. You may agree to try again and, if not, you will have closure so you can start to move on.

BE POSITIVE & CALM

Manage stress by practising deep relaxation, meditation or yoga for 30 minutes each evening. Being active will help too; joining a sports team will encourage you to feel more connected. Instead of worrying that you have ruined your life, recognise that you simply changed it and acknowledge that you can continue to make other changes until you feel truly content.