DON’T FEEL GUILTY IF YOU MISS YOUR FREEDOM BEFORE KIDS

Take time for yourself and plan child-free breaks to avoid being overwhelmed by the daily routines of being a parent

When I was a single mum of toddlers, I wouldn’t have changed it for anything, but I marvelled at the lives of my child-free friends and their lie-ins and city breaks. It isn’t just about having five minutes to yourself – you worry about your children until you take your final breath. This can feel overwhelming, and when you are being consistently woken at 5am, perpetually breaking up squabbles and cleaning the kitchen floor six times a day, you can’t help but pine for more freedom. Stop feeling guilty about this, and see it as a prompt to devote a little time to yourself. Tell your partner, parents, or supportive friends that you could do with a little rest and ask them to step in. Create some “you” space and dedicate it to whatever you are craving. Maybe it’s brunch with your bestie, or a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. If you have a partner, negotiate a timetable where you can both plan socials and maybe a child-free weekend. Book these in to look forward to and, when you feel overwhelmed, remind yourself of the fun you have planned. Reframe your feelings; imagine what it would be like to never feel those little arms clasped around you, or to never hear those sweet words “I love you, Mummy”.

This can help to ground you and amplify the joy of being a parent. One day your kids will be grown up, your home will be tidy, and the busyness of your thriving household will have faded, so, while your kids still see you as their superhero, don’t lose sight of the miracle of family you have managed to create.