DO YOU DATE WITH ‘MAIN CHARACTER ENERGY’?

‘Main character energy’ describes the mindset of seeing yourself as the protagonist in a film when it comes to dating – prioritising your wants and needs, but there are drawbacks

Of all the social media platforms, TikTok is the one that causes me the most concern because it seems to spawn utterly stupid trends daily. Right now it’s the “main character energy” dating trend. This mindset demands that you prioritise your own self-worth to quickly cull any potential partners who don’t appear to think that you are as brilliant as you believe yourself to be. Instead of considering the needs of others in the early stages of the dating game, the “main character” mode is all about unashamedly putting your needs front and centre. On the one hand, it’s very important to have self belief. On the other hand, what makes a great relationship is collaboration and a willingness to see the world from the point of view of your partner.

Say you’re on a date with a gorgeous person who you are really connecting with, but then they pop outside for a cigarette, and you can’t abide smoking. In this scenario you would ditch them for failing to meet the standards a “lead character” demands for their partner, but millions of people give up smoking every year. If you were to give them a chance, they could be a wonderful partner. “Main character energy” on a first date can come across as arrogant, demanding and narcissistic. Instead, allow yourself to be completely authentic. It can be scary to be open about your hopes and dreams, but by explaining your position and inviting your date to do the same, you can truly check your compatibility and explore common values and ambitions, without coming across as egocentric. That’s healthy dating.