The Final Straw
Ken Rigsby on tech’s obsession with youth
I’m a grouch of a certain age. I won’t say what age because I sometimes struggle to remember things. However, while I can’t currently recall my age I do know that I’m not a child. I’m certainly not a teenager, either. In fact, I think it’s safe to say that I’m no spring chicken.
That’s why I don’t watch TV shows aimed at today’s youth like Big Brother, Love Island or anything broadcast on BBC Three (whatever that is). There’s nothing wrong with any of those, incidentally – they’re just not for me. That’s hardly any surprise, because they’re not aimed at people of my advancing years.
I’m not alone. There are a couple of facts on which most global-population studies agree. The first is that more than half the people on Earth are aged over 25. The second, following the first, is that there are more older people alive than ever before in history. Moreover, although it doesn’t always feel like it, us old fogies are also the ones with most of the wealth.
Why then, do so many of the world’s biggest tech companies pander to young people? There’s no shortage of examples but, as if by magic, Microsoft recently supplied a peach. Or rather, it took a peach and somehow transformed it into a turd. I’m talking, of course, about Skype.
There was a time – about, ooh… 30 seconds before the recent update – when Skype was a straightforward tool for phone, video and text chat. But Microsoft recently decided this wasn’t enough, so it turned Skype into an emoji-spattered imitation of Snapchat (whatever that is).
Obviously, I’m not a technology virgin. I do actually know what Snapchat is: it’s the thing that youngsters use instead of talking with adults. I also know that I have no interest in Snapchat because, like Big Brother, Love Island and anything on BBC Three, it’s not aimed at old grouches.
That’s why the Skype app update incensed me so much. Look at the screenshot right. It’s what Microsoft apparently thinks people want from Skype: a contacts group called ‘Besties’ and a bunch of cartoons that include a purple dinosaur, a skateboarding businessman, and a couple of ladies in tight, short dresses.
This Skype update has left me lost. It has turned a previously straightforward app into a Fisher-price toy. And, like a pre-schooler handed a new plaything, I find myself bashing buttons at random in the hope I might figure out how it works. Skype, of course, is merely the latest thing to have been dumbed down to the point of frustration. Windows 7 became the infantile mess that was Windows 8 and, just a couple of years ago, Google tweaked its logo to create a corporate identity that resembles a set of fridge magnets for toddlers. Tech firms seem obsessed by youth markets. But why? My theory is that their software, marketing and PR staff are often barely out of their teens. Perhaps these childish redesigns appeal to the industry’s young workforce because they provide a comforting reminder of how easy life was before adulthood. But here in the real world, pe people want grown-up tools that he help them get stuff done. Or maybe th that’s just because I’m a grouch of a certain age!
The Skype update has turned a previously straightforward app into a Fisher-price toy