IN BED WITH KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN One night stands? Her ex? Bieber? We asked. She told

Justin Bieber! Fame! Dating! The most reserved Kardashian opens up ›

Salads are to Keeping Up With The Kardashians what cosmopolitans were to Sex And

The City. Rare is the bonding session where the women of the show are not grazing on a bowl of chopped lettuce. That I’ll end up flinging wet spinach onto Kourtney’s white pony-hair rug (on camera!) during our interview will only plague me for, like, ever.

In the positioning of the Kardashian/Jenner ladies, Kourtney’s role has been as the organic-obsessed lower-profile mother of Mason, six, Penelope, four, and Reign, 21 months. But since Kourtney’s July 2015 break-up from the children’s father, Scott ‘The Lord’ Disick, 33, there has been a shift in her narrative. She’s super hot, social, and yes, on occasion, getting turnt up (a Kardashian-ism for going out partying).

Kourtney greets me in the immaculate formal living room of her Calabasas home in California. It’s a dazzling day and Penelope is by her side. Minutes earlier, Reign waddles through, nanny in tow.

A few days ago, the family returned from a month-long break that saw them in Miami, the Bahamas and Nantucket, where Scott met up with them. He’ll be joining them again today for a family trip to the cinema.

It’s been a rough re-entry to reality – well, reality TV – Kourtney tells me after depositing Penelope with a nanny in a room nearby.

“My first day back filming, I was in a really bad mood. Just anxious, bitchy and on edge. I was like, ‘I don’t like this.’” While she’s never threatened to quit KUWTK, this time she took a longer break than everybody else. “It was really two weeks off, but I just said,‘I’m leaving for a month and taking my kids. Sorry.’”

Her holiday Instagrams – on a sand dune, on a yacht, on a beach – weren’t much different from her lifestyle in general, what with her multimillionpound home, private flights and trips to [insert all the coolest places on planet earth here]. Who needs a break from a life like that? “I don’t expect people who aren’t in my shoes to know what it’s like,” she says. “And I do look at the positives, like, what am I complaining about? I get to spend time with my family.” But then, the 37-year-old has to spend time with her family.“I see them way more than most people see their adult siblings.” Think of it like being forever at home for Christmas. It’s all Scrabble and eggnog until your brother (Rob) shows up with his pregnant fiancée (Blac Chyna) who, in case you weren’t aware, is the mother of your sister’s (Kylie) boyfriend’s (Tyga) child (keeping up?). Kourtney needed a month to “escape all the noise”.

Noise like the near-deafening #KimExposedTaylorParty. While she was gone, Kim Snapchatted clips of her husband, Kanye West, allegedly on a call with Taylor Swift, in which the pop star seems to approve the

controversial lyrics about her in Kanye’s song Famous. The internet went ape. Kourtney had no idea Kim would wage a social smackdown, but she’s glad she did.“It’s her husband, and he’s family. The truth is the truth, so why not let it be known?”

Still, had she been in Kim’s Yeezys, she’s not sure she would have done the same: “I used to live for confrontation. Once I had kids, the anger I had in me left my body. Very few things get me heated to the point of needing to be involved.” And, for the record, Taylor is not verboten in Kourtney’s home. “If she’s on the radio, fine,” she says, but quickly notes that Penelope is more into Rihanna and Beyoncé, and Mason loves Kanye’s 808s & Heartbreak.

As if on cue, Mason pops down the stairs. He’s picked white pyjamas to wear to the cinema. “Will they let me in?” he asks.“Yes, my love, I think they’ll let you in,” she assures him. When he’s out of earshot, I ask if the kids watch

KUWTK.“I saw when Kiki showed Larsa her vagina!” Mason’s voice echoes down the hall. Kourtney laughs.

“They’ve seen some of it, but no. I was in the shower, he woke up, and it happened to be on. He was like, ‘Who is Blac Chyna? And Kiki [Kim’s nickname] showed Larsa [Pippen] her vagina!’ I was like, ‘This is why they don’t watch the show.’ Some of the content is just not appropriate.”

Like, say, the footage of their dad’s less-than-exemplary behaviour: see Scott shit-faced. See Scott punching a mirror. Still, there have also been some endearing moments. See Scott’s visit to a psychic to determine if he’s been Kardashian-cursed (the theory: no man can thrive while involved with the coven). If you’ve ever found yourself at once loathing and loving him, Kourtney gets it: “I wasn’t attracted to him in the first place. I thought he was obnoxious. Then I thought he was so funny. We became friends, but he lived in New York.” The distance worked in his favour: “I was like,‘Scott would be fun. He’s cute, he lives in

“I wasn't attracted to Scott in the first place”

New York, it won’t be a serious thing.’ Then we were together for 10 years. Go figure.” She doesn’t sugar-coat the story of how they met. “He would always ask me to dinner, and I was like, ‘Why? What are we even going to talk about?’ Finally, I mentally shifted and was like, ‘Let’s have a slumber party.’ Kim was out of town and we were like,‘ Let’s sleep at her apartment.’ Then we wouldn’t leave each other’s side. He was a good boyfriend.” She pauses. “At times.”

She and Scott, who split last year, have been photographed together a lot lately as they do their best to co-parent. On this, she is clear: they are not back together. She says they haven’t so much as kissed since breaking up. Is she still attracted to him? “Yeah, he’s definitely handsome and funny. He has great qualities, but now is not our time.”

Unlike her sisters, Kourtney has never done the ‘I do’ thing. I press her on how important it is to her to find a life partner, Scott or otherwise. “I guess it’s not that important!” she says, laughing. “The idea of having my family together is amazing, but it’s not the way things ended up. They may end up there. I’m not sure. To me, it’s in God’s hands. If it’s meant to be, things will line up.” Scott requires a lot of her energy, and she doesn’t have it in her to put in the work. “We definitely tried for a long time. But relationships are exhausting! Being able to focus on the kids and me right now is good. We say to each other all the time, ‘I’m the coolest ex-girlfriend/baby mama you could ever ask for!’ I’m like, ‘Don’t tell me anything you’re doing, I don’t care, let’s just hang out, take the kids to dinner, I’m totally cool.’” But what happens when a new girlfriend or boyfriend enters the picture? “That’s what I don’t know,” she says. It hasn’t happened yet .“We’re so not there.”

At this point, our salads arrive. So has the camera guy from E!. There are no mics, no lights, no set-ups for a better angle. It’s all very, dare I say it, real. I’m suddenly self-conscious but push on. So how’s your love life? “It’s good! The most important thing to me is having fun. I have boy-crazy friends who are like, ‘We need to go out and find guys!’ That’s not my mission. I don’t want to go on a date and sit and talk. I don’t want to be set up. I just want to live life. If something happens, fine, but I’m not like,‘ Hey do you have any friends?’”

Kourtney’s nights out have led to rumours, though – the biggest one being Bieber. What exactly is going on with her and Justin? “We’re friends, yeah,” she offers with a sly smile. Like she and Scott were friends? “No,” she says. Final answer.

For her to sleep with someone, there has to be “an energy so strong, it pulls you to where there’s no stopping it. I don’t like to force things that aren’t there.” She did that once, a one-night stand in college, and it sucked.“The whole experience was just bad. The whole time I was just like, ‘Ugh, just get this over with.’ The guy was cute, but I was not into him.”

Kourtney’s had hair and make-up done for today’s filming. She picks at the turkey in her salad, careful not to mess up her light make-up that says ‘at home with the kids,’ versus ‘at the club.’ Her skin is near-perfection. At the mention of cosmetic surgery, though, she refers to the boob job she got at 21.“I wish I never did it. I had great boobs. Now I’m going to have

“I wish I’d never had plastic surgery. I had great boobs”

“I don't really care that much to be famous. It just happened”

to get them redone at some point.” That face though… surely she gets Botox, fillers… “No. I like to look like myself. I like imperfections but you also want to look your best. I think lasers would be a good place to start if I was feeling like doing something.”

Ageing in the spotlight doesn’t concern her as much as how the spotlight affects her children. “I always think of how I can protect them. Their aunts are huge on social media. I have phases when I’m like,‘Everyone stop Snapchatting my kids!’ I don’t really care that much to be famous. I’m living my life and this is what happened. But I want to do what I can to let them live a happy life.”

As for what they think Mum and Dad do: “Mason knows we’re on a TV show, and he’s heard the word famous from kids at school.” Kourtney is the brand ambassador for honey-based skincare line Manuka Doctor and has a few sponsorship deals. But she admits she’s still sorting out what her personal brand is in the ever-growing empire. Kim has her hit mobile game and Kimoji. Khloé’s book Strong Looks Better Naked is a bestseller, and her show Kocktails

With Khloé, though cancelled, stands to be a stepping-stone for future TV gigs. On the Jenner side, Kendall is doing all the modelling and Kylie’s cosmetics line is unstoppable. “Everyone has their passion,” Kourtney says.“I was just thinking yesterday, what’s my thing? It would be fun to buy houses, decorate them as if I was going to live there, then sell them. Not right this second, but maybe later.”

For now, she’s content to be with her kids as much as possible and focus on herself. She works out almost daily with Don Brooks of the Don-A-Matrix method. “It helps me mentally,” she says.“Two days a week is the most I’ll take off. I have to do it in the morning or else it doesn’t happen, and having a partner is important.” That partner is often Khloé.

We’ve reached the bottom of the salad bowls now. She sets hers on the coffee table, and I enquire about the two gold Cartier Love bracelets on her diminutive wrist – the ones you have to literally screw on. One she got from her parents for her 21st birthday. The other is a hand-medown from her mum, Kris Jenner.

“It was from Bruce,” she says. “It didn’t fit my mum any more, so when I had Mason, she gave it to me. It says something inside.” She glances at the inscription.“It says,‘Our love is bonded forever, I love you, Bruce.’” She laughs. Bruce and Kris have since divorced, and Bruce is now, of course, Caitlyn. Does Kourtney see herself taking after her mum with a huge blended brood? “I would have more,” she says of future children.“I could see myself with six kids. I just don’t know what’s in God’s plan.” Whatever it is, we’ll be watching.