BRING YOUR DNA-GAME Finally! A genetic excuse to eat Monster Munch. Maybe…

If you thought DNA tests were only for police databases and The Jeremy Kyle Show, think again. Genetic analysis is the latest health trend to divide and multiply. Using DNA testing, health experts are now creating bespoke diet and exercise plans, designed around your exact nutritional needs. Companies like Pure Genetic Lifestyle even offer an at-home test*, which, in exchange for a swab of saliva, can tell you everything from your individual vitamin needs to the rate your body breaks down alcohol. Hell, even spas are getting in on the DNAwave with new ‘genetically guided wellness programmes’ popping up all over the Swiss Alps. It’s unclear at the moment to what extent test results can be manipulated. Because if there’s a way we can make the consumption of freakshakes seem like a medical necessity, we will totally do that.