“I still have feelings for her”

Blake Challenger, 19, is an actor from Surrey

My mum was dropping me off for my first day at drama school when I spotted Chloe in the group. I turned to Mum and hissed,“That girl goes to my school – I can’t be here, it’s so embarrassing.” It got worse: that day we were learning a dance to Toxic by Britney Spears. Everyone in the group already knew it, except me, so the teacher paired me up with Chloe. I was mortified at the time, but actually it gave us a chance to get to know each other. After that, I looked forward to drama club every week. Chloe and I became so close; we bounced off each other and I thought she was beautiful. Years later, when I eventually told her I liked her, I remember being over the moon as she said it back.

After we’d been together about six months, she told me she was leaving to go to The Brit School. I knew I’d only see her once a week, maybe less, and that she’d be meeting lots of other people, including boys. She was going to be far away, busy with rehearsals, and I had exams: it felt like we were clutching at straws trying to hold it together, so we decided to end it while we were still on good terms.

I still have feelings for Chloe and I was thinking about telling her on the night, but she spoke about some lads she fancied – presumably to establish that we were just friends. In a perfect world, we’d have got back together after the date, but I know Chloe doesn’t feel the same. I’ve seen other girls since her, but none were ever good enough. They just weren’t Chloe.