WORST DATES EVER

Features a man who likens his penis to a ‘Lion Bar’

He took me on the London Eye and, after 10 minutes, asked if I “fancied wanking him off”. I didn’t. We then sat in silence for 20 minutes until the wheel completed its rotation and the pod doors re-opened. ALYSSA, 27

My date proudly told me all about his refuse sack full of porn, and the time he and his mate tried to steal a gravestone “for a laugh”. SOPHIE, 30

My date told me that because of his many genital piercings, his penis now resembled “a Lion Bar”. HEATHER, 34

HE WHISPERED HIS ORDER TO THE WAITRESS SO I WOULDN’T KNOW WHAT HE WAS HAVING – SOMETHING TO DO WITH FOOD ENVY, APPARENTLY. HE THEN GOT CROSS WITH ME WHEN I COULDN’T FINISH MY PASTA. ROSIE, 40

HE MESSAGED ME THE DAY BEFORE OUR DINNER SAYING, ‘CAN’T GET WITH YOU BY THE WAY, GOT LIKE THREE COLD SORES AT THE MOMENT LOL.’ SHANNON, 23

Our waiter came over holding the restaurant’s phone. My date’s mum was calling to try and catch him out (apparently she was obsessed with knowing where he was at all times). I awkwardly ate my burrito and avoided eye contact as they chatted. AMELIA, 21

During our second drink, he asked what I had planned for the rest of the night. I said, “Nothing,” as we were on a date. I asked him the same question – he said, “Meeting my pals for a drink, gonna go now actually.” And he did. LUCY, 25

My Italian date said he wanted to “own me”. I think he was trying to say he wanted to be my boyfriend, but there was a slight language barrier...

HANNAH, 28

He interrupted me mid-sentence to say, in a very serious voice, “I want to go down on you while listening to Nickelback.”

KATIE, 30