FIRST LOVE Go­ing on a date with the per­son who dumped you via text: it’s not for ev­ery­one

Irene, 29, a fi­nance man­ager from Lon­don

Cosmopolitan (UK) - - Contents -

With Frank, it was in­stan­ta­neous. It was July 2008 and we’d both been in­vited to a mu­tual col­lege friend’s 20th birth­day party, and he made me laugh from across the room. I was hooked. I liked how ev­ery­one looked up to him, and I wanted be his girl­friend so ev­ery­one would look up to me, too. Later on that evening, he asked if he could have my num­ber. For our first date, we went to get ice cream, and that’s when we shared our first kiss. I didn’t re­ally know what to do, and rushed off af­ter­wards, feel­ing shy. He told me he loved me two months in, but I didn’t re­cip­ro­cate un­til four months later. I didn’t want to rush any­thing.

I feel lucky that my first re­la­tion­ship was so nice, though. Once, when I was in Italy with my fam­ily, he sent me a ro­man­tic poem. He would also bring me flow­ers (he usu­ally picked them from other peo­ple’s gar­dens, but I didn’t mind). How­ever, things started to go down­hill when we both headed into our sec­ond year of uni­ver­sity. Sud­denly I re­alised our val­ues were dif­fer­ent and he had no am­bi­tion. His mum, his sis­ter and I all tried to help, giv­ing him cash for train­ing cour­ses, but he’d just take it and spend it on some­thing else. Money was a big is­sue. I could never or­gan­ise trips or do any­thing ex­pen­sive. That caused ar­gu­ments and pushed us apart. In 2014, af­ter six years, the re­la­tion­ship came to a nat­u­ral end. We just stopped mes­sag­ing and see­ing each other.

At first it was a lit­tle awk­ward see­ing him again, but there was chem­istry there. He was re­vert­ing to his old role, act­ing gen­tle­manly and tak­ing pho­tos. He does have a full-time job now, and I’m pleased for him, but he still has no ca­reer as­pi­ra­tions. He hasn’t changed at all.

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