FRESHERS' WEEK UNCOVERED

You've unpacked and drug out the textbooks you'll never read... now it's time for Freshers' Week to offially begin. Here's what to expect, as told by come of our favourite NOW TY shows and movies

STAGE 1 FRESH-FACED AND HOPEFUL

It’s a new dawn of independence. From now on you can do whatever you want, whenever and with whoever you want. What could go wrong?

STAGE 2 SUDDEN LONELINESS

After much faffing and promising to call every day, your parents have finally left. Now you’re in your new room, scared and alone. Panic creeps into your stomach. Until…

STAGE 3 MAKING YOUR FIRST FRIEND

A girl knocks on your door. Two hours later you’re in the pub bonding over pints of cider, and your friends from home are a distant memory. That’s until you have to carry her home because she’s had one too many.

STAGE 4 OBLIGATORY FANCY-DRESS PARTY

There’s a themed party and you need to meet new, grown-up friends. You leave it too late and end up going in a 13-year-old boy’s SpiderMan costume.

STAGE 5 SOCIETY SIGN-UPS

You’ve been out more in a week than you have in the past year, but you drag yourself to the freshers’ fair and sign up to the bird-watching society because they offer you free pizza. Cue ignoring their emails for a year.

STAGE 6 THE STUDENT LOAN LANDS

Twenty-four hours later, you’ve upgraded your room with a wall hanging, fairy lights, and a duvet you won’t change for months. This money never runs out, right?

STAGE 7 FRESHERS’ FLU STRIKES

Turns out a diet of cereal and cheesy chips, coupled with hugging approximately 200 strangers, can really mess with your immune system…

STAGE 8 FIRST FIRE ALARM

It’s 3am, and a loud beep wakes you. Total horror. Everyone sees you in the Star Wars pyjamas your gran bought you.

STAGE 9 COOKING FOR YOURSELF

You managed to cook a frozen pizza without burning it. Winning. Tomorrow’s menu: the stir-fry.

STAGE 10 TOTAL WIPEOUT

You’ve no idea what day it is, can’t recall the last time you ate a vegetable, and a trip to the vending machine feels like climbing Everest. Is it time to start studying yet?