THE TURD IS HIGH

I WAS RELAXING ON A BLISSFUL BEACH IN VENICE WHEN I REALISED I SERIOUSLY NEEDED TO POO. THE PORTALOOS WERE LOCKED UP, SO, GETTING DESPERATE, I SEARCHED FOR A CAFE – BUT THEY WERE ALL SHUT, TOO. I WAS ALL OUT OF OPTIONS, SO I DID WHAT I HAD TO, DROPPING MY BIKINI BOTTOMS ON THE SPOT AND SQUATTING IN THE SAND. LUCKILY I WAS ARMED WITH ANTIBACTERIAL GEL AND TISSUES.

SARAH, 22, SALES ASSISTANT, LONDON