EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH
Bad day at the office? Then here’s a gift, from us, to you
'EAR ME OUT
In a job interview I kicked things off by complimenting my boss-to-be’s earrings, saying, “Those are so lovely, I think I have them. Are they H&M?” Turns out they were actually from the far more expensive brand Céline. Obviously she was highly unimpressed. LYDIA, 30, LONDON
MAIL FAIL
I was bitching about a colleague via email and accidentally sent it straight to her. She hadn’t spotted it yet, so I went over to her computer, told her IT needed to do a software update and offered to do it myself. Thankfully she believed me – I deleted the message just in time. CAMILLA, 24, ESSEX
ROUND THE BEND
I was at a try-out for a yoga-teacher job, doing a demo in front of an entire class. As I went into cat-cow position on all fours, some air must have got trapped “up there”, and it loudly reverberated out of me as I transitioned into downward-facing dog, taking us all by surprise. Even more surprisingly, I actually got the job. ZARA, 26, EDINBURGH
CRASH DUMMY
In my job at IKEA, I crashed a forklift truck into a huge warehouse door, writing off both the vehicle and the door. My colleagues never let me forget it – the following Christmas they even forged a letter pretending my bonus was being docked to pay for the damage. ARJUN, 26, BIRMINGHAM
ALL SCONE WRONG
I was 15 and new to a job waitressing in a posh café. A woman came in and ordered a scone. I served her, proud that I’d known where they were kept without being shown. Five minutes later she returned, furiously tapping it with her knife – turns out it was a plastic show-scone. STEPH, 24, KENT
PLUCKING HELL
I’m a make-up artist and was applying some foundation onto a client. I noticed my brush had left a bristle on her cheek and tried to wipe it away. It didn’t budge, so I resorted to picking it off with my fingers. Next thing I knew she was yelping and clutching her face – I’d been trying to pull a hair out of her mole. ALISHA, 28, LONDON
PHONE PAS
I was chatting to an important client on the phone, impressing him with my use of the phonetic alphabet. Unfortunately I got stuck when it came to the letter Y (which is “Yankee”), panicked and spluttered “Wankee!” into the receiver. CHLOE, 24, NEWCASTLE
CASH ME IF YOU CAN
My job involves collecting donations for charity, but I am a bad procrastinator. I once ignored the growing packets of money I was supposed to bank for so long that I ended up with nearly £10,000 stashed in my desk drawer. That one took some serious explaining when I was outed. EMMA, 27, SURREY