FIRST LOVE
University lovers whose relationship flunked
“I thought we were going to get married” Tilly Berendt, 27, is a journalist from Surrey
Aged 19, I applied to Kent University on a whim, desperate to escape the horrible, backwards town in Maine, USA, where I’d been raised. I bought a oneway ticket and moved to the UK with zero money in my pocket. On arriving in Canterbury I auditioned for the biggest [university] play of the year, and Steven was the director. He was excited by the world; creative and kooky, with an Irish accent. He didn’t cast me, but I sent him a Facebook message, asking him out for coffee. After hanging out more, we had a drunken first snog. Then I was sick all over the street! It obviously didn’t put him off, because we were soon inseparable.
A few months into us being together, my drink was spiked on a night out. I think it freaked Steven out – when I woke up, he looked like he’d been crying, and told me he loved me. I loved him, too. It was the first time I’d had that feeling for someone. For a while, everything felt perfect; shoestring-budget holidays to Paris and Rome, meeting his family – I thought we were going to get married. But we began to bicker and stopped having sex as much, which made me feel insecure. It all came to a head at a friend’s party just before Christmas 2012 when I kissed someone in front of him.
Since then, I’ve seen Steven once – in 2017, when his mother died unexpectedly. I got in touch and went to the funeral, but it would’ve been inappropriate to talk about our relationship.
Seeing him again on the date, it’s clear we’ve both grown up. It meant a lot to me that he acknowledged the financial and personal difficulties I’d experienced in Canterbury and how that contrasted with his privileged family life. It was the closure I needed to move on.
“I was exhilarated by seeing her again” Steven Laverty, 28, is an actor from Belfast
During my second year at Kent University, I became president of the drama society. Tilly, a first year, auditioned for my show. She was really pretty, funny and outgoing, but didn’t make the cut. So it was a little awkward when, after our first date, I had to head off to rehearsals for the play I hadn’t cast her in. I’m a sucker for an American accent, and I liked that she made sacrifices for her passions – coming all the way to Canterbury, alone, must have been so hard. We bonded quickly, and I asked her to be my girlfriend on the last night of my play.
One night shortly after Christmas, a friend of Tilly’s was staying with us, and we started chatting about visiting Paris. All of a sudden it was like,“Oh my god, we’re young and free, let’s drive to Paris!” so we boarded a ferry the very next day. Watching Tilly see the Eiffel Tower for the first time felt so magical and I remember thinking,“I love this girl.” She was my first serious, long-term relationship. But by the summer of 2012, we began moving in different directions. We wanted different things, and I broke up with her that December. I definitely appreciated her being there for me when my mum died, but that’s not the best environment in which to hang out and catch up, so I was excited to see her again properly. We follow each other on social media, but I was keen to hear the reality of her life, rather than just the glitzy, public version. University was a tough time for her, I think, but she seems so much happier now. I was exhilarated by the madness of seeing her again.
Want to be reunited with your first love? Email us at first.love@cosmopolitan.co.uk