WORST DATES EVER

Features a man who tried to recruit his date to work as an escort. What a charmer

He took me to a strip club and bought us a couple’s dance. Having never been in a lap-dancing bar before, it took me a minute to clock what was going on, but when I did I told him I was leaving. His response: “Do you mind if I stay?” MILLIE,* 26

He tried recruiting me to work for his escort agency. VICTORIA, 33

My date arrived blind drunk and greeted me with, “You look hotter than I thought you would.” JO, 26

AS IT WAS A WARM, SUNNY DAY, I SUGGESTED WE SAT OUTSIDE FOR DRINKS – BUT A DRUNK MAN CAME UP TO US SHORTLY AFTER AND TRIED TO SWING FOR ME. INSTEAD OF ASKING IF I WAS ALRIGHT, MY DATE JUST SAID, “SEE, THIS IS WHY I WANTED TO SIT INSIDE.” JARED, 25

HE INVITED ME TO WATCH A COMEDY SHOW, BUT JUST BEFORE I GOT THERE, MESSAGED TO SAY HE’D ACTUALLY BE PERFORMING IN IT. I SAT ALONE THROUGH EIGHT ACTS – HIS, IRONICALLY, WAS ABOUT HOW TERRIBLE HE IS AT DATING. CHLOE, 24

After shelving our plans to watch a movie, he said, “Let’s just chat.” His topic of choice? Dumping his last girlfriend because she “didn’t support his dream of becoming a rapper”. He then asked, “As the weaker sex, what are your goals until you get married?” He let himself out. ELLEN, 27

Over dinner, he confessed he was on a comedown from the night before and couldn’t stop sweating. We had to leave before the food arrived so he could go home and sleep. SAM, 27

Entirely unprompted, he spent 15 minutes explaining why cocaine was better than alcohol.

ALICE, 26

After grilling me about my salary, he suggested I pay for all the drinks, and later said,“I won’t be a teacher much longer, by the way. I’m starting a property business and will be a millionaire by 25.”

SOPHIE, 24

Got a dating nightmare to share? Email worstdatesever @cosmopolitan.co.uk