WORST DATES EVER

Swipe-right regret: incoming

We ordered a garlic bread to share. He ate his piece with a knife and fork, then told me he never touches food and even takes a specific “popcorn spoon” to the cinema. NICKI, 28

In the middle of dinner, she said,“I used to be a cocaine addict, but I’m not any more. Anyway, do you mind if I quickly do a line in the bathroom?” VANESSA, 32

Within half an hour he’d referred to me as his girlfriend, and ended the night by planting a kiss on me (which sounded like a suction cup being removed). Then, before I’d even got home, he’d texted asking if we could FaceTime before bed.

HELEN, 21

My date took me on a drive around the city. As I was new to the area, I thought he was being really helpful... until I realised he was just giving me a tour of all the places he’d lived with his ex-girlfriends. AMBER, 28

I ASKED FOR A G&T WITH ICE AND HE ORDERED ME A TRIPLE NEAT GIN. WHEN HE WENT TO THE LOO, I POURED IT IN HIS PINT (HE DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE). LATER, HE ASKED IF HE COULD “PLAY WITH HIMSELF” IN FRONT OF ME. CHRISTINA, 28

For our first date, at a fancy restaurant, he (secretly) told the staff it was our anniversary. When the celebratory dessert arrived, he asked if we could do this every year. CAROLINE, 28

AFTER WAITING AN HOUR, I WAS ABOUT TO LEAVE THE BAR WHEN MY DATE ARRIVED. HE STARTED YELLING AT ME, CLAIMING HE WAS LATE BECAUSE HE HAD BEEN “HIT BY A CAR”. HIS PARTING WORDS BEFORE RUNNING OFF? “I HOPE YOU GET HIT BY A CAR, TOO!” JOEY, 34

He removed his retainer and asked me to hold it while he searched for his case because my “hands looked cleaner than the table”. Shudder.

ROSIE, 30

Halfway through the date, his phone rang. He picked it up, put the call on speaker and when his friend asked what he was up to, he replied, “Nothing much. You?”

SANDRA, 28