THE BEAUTY FAILS OF SUMMER
Caution: the season of boob glitter and faux freckles is upon us
1 Boob glitter
You did it. You finally got those Glastonbury tickets you’ve been waiting all year for… Well, actually you didn’t. You got Isle Of Wight tickets instead because you forgot to set your alarm. Or at least that’s what you told your friends when the fear of pooing in a Portaloo for five days straight set in. But that’s fine, you’re going to Isle Of Wight and it’s going to be great because, yes, you have always wanted to see Rick Astley on the main stage, actually.
You’ve packed more wet wipes than your sister does when you babysit your nephew, and filled your empty Pringles tubes with enough clean pants to last two weeks, but for some reason you’re also taking enough glitter to bedazzle an entire Elton John suit. Of course you never planned for it to end up on your lady lumps, but after a lengthy chat about the power of healing crystals with Cheska in the tent opposite (fuelled by her rose-quartz-infused rosé), you find yourself topless, with a chest that wouldn’t look out of place in Gringotts’ vaults.
INSTEAD, TRY… Make like the catwalk models at Simone Rocha and Kate Spade New York and bejewel your eyelids instead. Lemonhead LA Spacejam,* £26 [1], is chunky enough to satisfy your inner Neil Buchanan, and works best when haphazardly smeared with fingertips, so ideal for festival season. If a dazzling face isn’t enough, apply the biodegradable BOD Mermaid Glitter Gel, £5 [2], to your shoulders to make your signature Astley dance moves shine brighter. And, hey, if it stops you going all Changing Rooms on your boobs, spray Percy & Reed Starlight Glitter Glow, £8 [3, also biodegradable], through your hair instead.