STEPH JACKSON... checked into the world’s most remote hotel, in Ittoqqortoormiit…
Ittoqqortoormiit: say what?
Pronounced It-oh-cor-tor-mid (Itto for short), this tiny town lies four degrees north of the Arctic Circle on Greenland’s frozen east coast. With temperatures averaging –10°C in November, a population of around 452 (not including the polar bears…) and sparse wifi, it’s ideal if you fancy boldly going where (almost) no one’s gone before. It’s so remote, planes don’t fly there. Instead, you arrive into Constable Point and take a 15-minute helicopter ride over views so beautiful they rendered me speechless (no mean feat). Seeing the locals’ modest primary-colourpainted houses, the untouched snowy fjords and icy sea was mesmerising. Until… “Welcome to nowhere,” the helicopter pilot announced as we landed. *Gulp*
“Nowhere”? Sounds scary…
Don’t panic. I was greeted by Mette and Åge, owners of Itto’s only guesthouse, with the friendliest smiles ever. Åge loaded my bags in his snowmobile and off we zoomed to the Guesthouse inn (don’t fight the urge to post the drive to your Story with Ice, Ice Baby as the soundtrack), which has, in order of importance: heating, six bedrooms, two kitchens, a lounge/diner and two bathrooms. It’s basic, but cosy and sufficient. The town is low-key, too – but in the best way. There’s a supermarket, school, gym, church and town hall. No restaurants or bars, but you’ll be too busy snowmobiling, dogsledding and checking for the Northern Lights to need those.
Ultimate status update?
For the tame: a photo with the locals at sunset, post-dog-sledding. For the adventurous: a mid-snowmobile-ride video. I opted for both, but the latter meant my hands didn’t work for two hours afterwards. Seriously – the wind means temperatures plummet to around -25°C (an anti-freeze case for your phone is essential). But it’s all worth it – if you don’t capture the moment you were trudging around like the Michelin Man in two layers of thermal everything, sharing a hot chocolate with Inuits, did you even really go to Ittoqqortoormiit?
Anything less Frozen?
Yes! Iceland’s only a short flight away. Head to capital city Reykjavik and check into uber-cool Exeter Hotel by Keahotels. Take a walking tour, grab lunch at Iceland’s famous hotdog stand, Baejarins Beztu Pylsur, then dine on fresh char at Grillmarkadurinn. Next, hit the Blue Lagoon geothermal spa to unwind, ply your pores with mud and sip on local Gull pale ale. Enjoyed the spa and beer mash-up? Visit the city of Akureyri for a Bjorbodin Beer Spa. You’ll spend 25 minutes bathing in a hot tub of hops and another 25 lying in a dimly lit room listening to music. Surreal? Yes. Will you want to recreate this at home? Absolutely.