First love
Each month, we send two former lovers on a date to see what happens
“I thought we were going to get married” Zoe, 19, is a student from London
I instantly fancied Aiden when I met him three years ago at a mutual friend’s party. He asked for my number and I said no at first because I was so shy. But, later, when he messaged me on Instagram, I agreed to go on a date. I liked that he’d made the effort to contact me. We went to Nando’s – he sorted out the cutlery and sauces, and I was impressed by his manners.
Aiden met my whole family at my birthday party after four months – they really liked him, which was important to me. I realised I loved him about six months in. I was only 16 and it was my first relationship, but he showed me what a boyfriend should be like – kind and patient. We spent Christmas together and I went on holiday with his family. In hindsight, we might have moved too fast. We’d stay at each other’s houses every day, and when I started university a year and a half in, I’d come back every weekend.
After two years, I saw messages on Aiden’s phone and found out he’d kissed someone else at the start of our relationship. It shattered my perspective of our time together. I’d thought we were going to get married, but suddenly felt I couldn’t trust him. After two and a half years, I told him I couldn’t do it any more.
I never explained my reasons for ending it at the time, so this date gave me a chance to. It felt like meeting up with an old friend, but it hurt to discuss the break-up.
Aiden, 20, is a footballer from London
I was so nervous on our first date. I’d been the one pursuing her, but I ended up being too shy to talk so she asked all the questions. I warmed to her straight away, though. I’m a baby at heart and like to be looked after, so I loved that Zoe made all the decisions, choosing what we’d watch and eat. She’d cook for me and I’d do the cleaning. It just felt natural. I loved being around her, it felt like home. We spent Christmas together in 2017, after being together for 10 months, and I realised I loved her. We’re both family-oriented and took part in each other’s traditions – my family’s European so we celebrate on the 24th December. I think our downfall was that we spent too much time together – we ended up isolating ourselves. Even when Zoe was studying, I’d go to the library just to sit with her.
I was fine for the first two weeks after we broke up, but then it flipped. I felt like half of me was missing – Zoe was my best friend and the only person I could open up to. However, in hindsight, it was the right thing. Now, we both see our friends more and my life feels balanced.
On the date, I felt like I finally got some closure. We spoke about what went wrong in our relationship and both explained where our heads are now. I told Zoe I wanted her back, but she’s only keen to be friends.
“I felt like half of me was missing”