Sex dreams decoded
Does your sleep see you lusting after total strangers, colleagues and – eek – your ex? A dreams expert explains why…
Did you get up to some seriously filthy stuff last night while you were asleep? Nearly 10% of all dreams contain sexual content,* but if you’re wondering why you did that with them, don’t worry: sleep-sexing someone doesn’t always mean you want to get down to it with them IRL. Dreams analyst Lauri Loewenberg says most sex dreams are more about what those individuals represent to you. Here, she explains what the unlikely subject is trying to tell you…
A COLLEAGUE
You see them every day, so of course they intrude at night. But there’s a distinction between sexing your boss in your dreams versus a junior, says Loewenberg. If you work for them, the dream is likely about a power struggle. Solve it by finding something to collaborate on. If you did NSFW things with someone you manage, think about what they represent to you. If it’s an assistant who keeps your life in line, your brain may be telling you to get your shit together.
AN EX OR AN ENEMY
This is basically a nightmare – and a common one at that. But dreams that star you and an ex in a Christian-and-Anastasia-style tryst aren’t a sign to reunite. “It’s about what they used to represent to you,” says Loewenberg. You might need to bring that energy into your current relationship. Single? Try dating in a new way. If it’s someone you dislike, “Your subconscious is urging you to reconnect with them,” says Loewenberg. “It’s not good to carry around hate.”
YOUR TEACHER
If it’s the professor you’ve always drooled over in class, this might simply be a hot-for-your-teacher situation – in which case, lesson over, fantasy complete. But if it’s someone you found legit scary or revolting (and not just because of their beige chinos), take note of the subject they taught you. “If it was English, maybe there’s some need in your life for better communication,” says Loewenberg. “If it was maths, it could be a call to get better at your finances.”
A TOTAL STRANGER
The “mystery love” storyline is probably the least awkward of the lot. And in a twist that’ll crush hopeless romantics, it doesn’t mean you’re dreaming about someone who’s out there waiting for you, says Loewenberg: “This is more about some aspect of yourself that you’re trying to get to know.” Imagining a wild night with someone unknown could represent a need to be more authoritative and assertive… like the kind of badass who’d have an X-rated encounter with a stranger.
A GROUP OF PEOPLE
While they might seem crazy fun, dream orgies are actually a red flag that you have a lot of distress in your life. Perhaps you’re experiencing an overwhelming psychological situation that’s manifesting as an overload of people and body parts, says Loewenberg. It’s time to look for ways to Marie Kondo busy areas of your life (or at least put a few things on the back burner for a while). Cut back on happy hours for a bit, or maybe take a trip away to clear your head.