“Caroline’s death will never be OK”

When I got the call I was like, ‘I need to talk to Iain, I need to talk to Caroline…’ It’s a weird one because you think you should just jump at it.”

Whitmore’s stint on Love Island was a huge success. While Stirling, who she moved in with last year, was based in Cape Town for the six weeks the show aired, Laura would fly over for the live shows but filmed Aftersun back in London. But the week before the final, the news came that Flack had taken her own life. Whitmore learned of her death on Twitter before a friend called her. The news shook the TV industry and raised questions about Flack’s treatment by the media, and on social media, while she awaited trial.

“It still doesn’t sink in,” Whitmore says quietly. “You just forget that happened. It’ll never be OK and it’ll never be right. It did scare me because I always thought Caroline was really strong. She was so strongwilled and feisty and I remember thinking, ‘God, I wish I could be as strong as her.’ I felt like if people said things, it wouldn’t bother her. But obviously it did because everyone is human. I don’t want to speculate reasons because nobody will ever know. [But] it did frighten me.”

Whitmore hopes that what happened might make people think in future. “I hope now that people have had an insight into what she had to deal with. I’ve been very lucky that I’ve interviewed so many different people. I’ve been in a room with Britney Spears and she’s lovely. I remember thinking, ‘You’re just this vulnerable girl who got a lot of fame very fast.’ And seeing that, I think we do forget that what you say hurts people’s feelings. We can all learn from that. It’s like going back to school when we were younger in the playground. You could say something about someone in the yard and it really affects them. It just happens now on a bigger scale.”

eVEN WHEN SHE WAS GRIEVING, Whitmore couldn’t escape the paparazzi. A week after Flack passed away, she flew to Cape Town to film the final of the show, and Stirling met her at the airport. It was the first time they’d seen one another since the news broke. Understandably, it was emotional. But a pap was waiting at arrivals to trail them through the airport. Stirling filmed him and Whitmore uploaded it to her Instagram Stories. She later took it down. “We saw him taking photos,” she explains. “Iain was getting upset and I said, ‘Let’s not talk to each other until we get into the car because I didn’t want a picture of that. He came right into our face and started asking questions about Caroline and I said, ‘You have your picture, just stop now.’ He said, ‘No, it’s a public place, I can do what I want.’ This guy, for 20 minutes, kept following us and I just wanted people to see what it’s like from the other side. I knew what would happen – there would be a picture of me online after being on a flight, upset, and then there would be comments about how I look and my personal relationship with a friend, and I just don’t want that.”

How she handled that invasion of privacy appears, thankfully, to have worked. “I was really surprised because, after that, a few of those photographers asked if they could take a picture [instead of just doing it without her consent]. Maybe it’s important that we call people out.”

Whitmore believes that to stop what happened to Flack happening again, our treatment of women in the media needs to change.

“It’s a long time coming. The language I see used online is just disgusting. The problem is, it’s coming from a lot of people who are anonymous. I think the more successful you are, the more it brings the haters. It’s born from jealousy and sometimes people think if you knock somebody it can make you feel better… but it doesn’t.”

She adds, “How we talk about people should be monitored. The comment section on certain outlets should be banned. Some of the things people say are absolutely vile, so don’t allow a space for those kinds of people.” She thinks change will happen, but slowly: “A few years ago it was OK to have a picture of my pants in the paper

– a picture taken against my will and without my permission. It seems crazy that it was allowed, but now it’s not.” In 2019, the Voyeurism (Offences) Act, AKA The Upskirting Bill, was passed. “We can change, [but] it’s going to be bit by bit.”

Whitmore says she hasn’t even thought about whether she will host the next series of Love Island, when it eventually happens. But she loved

working on the show as a super-fan herself.“They do all their own hair and make-up,” she says.“On Saturday, when there is no show on, their eyelashes and acrylic nails get redone. Apparently in the first series they left the villa to go to a salon to have their hair done but now, because the show is so big, they can’t, so they have a girl who comes in to do their roots and stuff.” Going into the villa for the first time was a real highlight.“I’d never been there before. I’d been to the glamorous location of Iain’s voiceover booth and I was like,‘This is no fun.’ The villa is a whole other ball game… I went into the dressing room and loved it. I always thought it must be really messy, and they had this blue carpet and it was stained with fake tan everywhere and I was like,‘I knew it!’”

s TIRLING AND WHITMORE don’t tend to talk about work because the comedian gets annoyed when Whitmore lets slip any behind-thescenes gossip.“He doesn’t like knowing too much. He went mad one day because I said something he hadn’t seen yet. He wants his commentary to be what people at home are thinking.”

What was it like working with Iain in Cape Town? “We had separate rooms! He’s there the whole time and I was back and forth. He’d start at 1pm and be on site until 9pm. I would go into the villa after the public vote at 11pm and sometimes get back to my hotel at 5am.“We’d obviously spend a lot of time together when we could, but there are a few couples that work on the show and they were like,‘Have separate rooms!’ Can you imagine me just popping over every now and then, sharing a bedroom with him and being like,‘Why is this room really messy? Why are your computer games here?’ We didn’t want to bring that into work life.”

Before Love Island started filming, Whitmore and Stirling decided they would make a little nod to the fact they are dating, when it felt right. Introducing her on the first episode of Aftersun, he said, “She’s the lady with the most handsome boyfriend in showbiz… It’s Laura Whitmore.”

“We didn’t want to ham it up too much,” says Whitmore. “Iain put in a few little comments and, thankfully, he knows to be a little bit scared of me so he did run it by me.”

Until Love Island they’d always been a fairly private couple.“We’ve never even done a red carpet together,” she says. “We go to things separately – normally because he’s late – but we just made a decision not to do red carpets. Maybe that will change at some point.”

Through the tumult and turns the last few months have taken, the one thing that remains constant is the strength of their relationship. “It’s just Iain, me and the dog in the house right now, and [Iain] is loving it because he gets to eat pasta and play computer games. He’s living his student life. I thought we would drive each other crazy. It’s really helping me think, ‘Actually, this is a good relationship!’ We like each other. We don’t spend a lot of time together normally.

So I was a bit worried about being in the house with him so much but it’s been lovely. It’s a test. I saw a joke on Instagram that you have Casa Amor [on Love Island], and this is Casa Coronavirus. If you can get through this, you can get through everything.” Wise words for all of us, if you ask me.

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Laura’s BBC Radio 5 Live show airs 10am, every Sunday; her Castaway podcast is available to download on all major platforms, iTunes, Spotify, Acast