Getting on track
When Baker and I meet, it’s day 21 of my cycle, meaning I’m heading from “summer” into “autumn”. Baker encourages me to track how I feel physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, so I can start seeing patterns. Whether your cycle is regular or not, tracking is key to figuring out what your body is telling you. For the first few days, I’m steady and productive. I get lots done and feel strong, but in the second week – late “autumn” and early “winter” – I tailspin into despair. The stresses of work and toiling on a book project overspill, and I let rip at my husband for setting the boiler to the wrong time. A haircut leaves me beset by anxiety, a HIIT workout is a slog, and I’m crabby at work events, blaming myself for not being cheerier. On day 28 in my journal, under “spiritually”, I write one word: “dead”.
When I tell Baker about my week from hell via Skype, she seems unsurprised.
I did practically everything my body was telling me not to, she says – then blamed myself. The haircut made me feel self-conscious, and the work events forced me to put on a front at a time of the month when I felt my least resilient. Had I planned these things for the feelgood days of my “summer”, the outcome would likely have been different. I know day two of my cycle is awful, so why do I plough ahead with meetings regardless?
It feels like a lightbulb moment, but who – realistically – can plan their life around their cycle? True, says Baker, but when you can “sync” your calendar with your cycle, do. And when you can’t, know you won’t be doing whatever it is at the optimum time and don’t fall into a pit of self-blame if it doesn’t go the way you want. “We can’t stop our bodies feeling a certain way,” she says. “Our hormone levels don’t sing to our personal hymn sheet
– but we can plan to maximise the potential of the different phases of
what I could do to make the coming weeks less chaotic than last month. I need to reschedule plans with loose acquaintances, diarising them for “summer”, when I know I’ll be more up for networking. “The summer woman is not to be trusted with a calendar – she feels so great she’ll fill it, but when autumn comes she won’t want to do half of it! In autumn, generally speaking, we like being at home. You’ll likely want to do grounding activities, like yoga and tidying up your flat.”
Being conscious of our cycles can help us bring our A-game to life on a day-to-day, month-to-month basis, but it can also help us tackle life’s meatier issues. “When considering larger life changes,” says Baker, “it’s important to know how you feel about the issue in each season. You might feel decisive in spring, but you’ll feel differently about it in a fortnight’s time. For example,
I broke up with a long-term boyfriend a few years ago. Generally, big life decisions reveal themselves in autumn because it’s an introspective time, but that’s not when we should act on them. Wait, consider whether the decision feels true, and then act, if you want to, in spring. That’s what
I did. Working with my cycle has given me more authority in my own life.” Transformative? For me, yes. We talk about our “time of the month” as if our body is only active for a week, but the reality couldn’t be further from the truth. So, in the days after your period, use your energy, then lean into the urge to hibernate in “autumn” and “winter”. We have much less control over our bodies than we think we do. It’s time for less self-blame and more self-love.
Visit Clairebaker.com or on Instagram. Baker’s book, is out 9th July