TAKE IT SLOWLY

Unlike “chemistry”, compatibility isn’t immediately apparent. This is why the experts say you need to take your time to get to know someone. Zawada-Gresset has a three-date rule for her clients, and believes it takes at least that long to know if you could be compatible. “Sometimes people are judgemental and overly analytical. They look for the imperfections and reasons not to date someone. I’ve seen so many clients wash their hands of someone after the first date. And by the third date, they’re ready to propose.” As Dr Barker points out, slowing things down can be hard because we have to dismantle a whole way of conducting relationships that has been instilled in us by popular culture. “This might sound like a radical suggestion, but I wouldn’t start an erotic or a romantic relationship or cohabit with someone after less than a year of knowing them. The best thing you can do is form a friendship first.”