First love
Each month, we send two exes on a (virtual) date to see what happens
“We were up and down like a yo-yo”
Améthyste, 30, is a model living in London
I liked everything about Jasmin the moment I met him. His hair, his aftershave, his eyes. We met while working at a ferry company in London and he asked me out on Facebook. Three days after meeting, we went on our first date. We kissed, and it became official.
That was January 2016. We were together for almost two years, and shared a lot of adventures, taking trips to places like Greece and Italy. The more time we spent together, the closer we got. I knew I was falling for him.
Still, we were up and down like a yo-yo. We had loads of arguments, mostly about him not giving the relationship enough attention. He always had more time for his friends and career than for me. Even in Greece he’d be working, booking ferries for customers from his laptop. Eventually, I wanted to move in together but he wasn’t ready to commit.
I didn’t want to admit to myself that I wasn’t happy, because I loved him and didn’t want to let him go. But he ended it over text while he was on a business trip in Miami. He told me we wanted different things. At the time I was heartbroken but, looking back, it was the best decision.
We met up a year later to talk things through but
I didn’t get the closure I wanted, so I was happy to properly talk to Jasmin on the video date. He told me he didn’t mean to hurt me and had just wanted a clean break. Now, I know he just wasn’t ready to commit, and I’ve got the closure
I was looking for.
“I’m not proud of how I ended things”
Jasmin, 30, is a waiter living in London
I liked how calm and down-to-earth Améthyste was when we first met – and her French accent was cute! I asked her out soon after. The more time we spent together, I realised we had a real connection. At one point, I was feeling down about my career; Améthyste was a great listener and helped me see things differently.
I liked to treat Améthyste, taking her to nice restaurants and travelling around Europe – it was romantic! But we’d argue about spending time together. I know Améthyste saw herself getting married and having a family, whereas at the time all I wanted to do was have fun, work and see my friends. In hindsight, I was immature and selfish.
I’m not proud of how I ended things, but it just felt like everything in my life had become too much. She wasn’t happy and I knew I couldn’t make her happy. I think I broke her heart and I felt bad, but it was the right choice, for both of us.
On the date, Améthyste looked good! I was happy to see her. We talked about her family and lockdown. It brought back old feelings and memories, and I’ll always care about her. I know she was still annoyed about how I ended things, which I understand. I asked her if we can move on, and we did resolve some issues, but I don’t think she’ll forgive me.