“I can orgasm without even trying”

AMY* IS 26, BISEXUAL, AND A POSTAL WORKER IN LONDON

“When I was 11, I had a wank for the first time

and came. I was amazed. Then I didn’t orgasm with the first few people I had sex with. I thought that was weird because I could do it on my own so easily. About a year into being sexually active, I started seeing someone and with him I came quickly. Even though

I couldn’t stand him, I went on sleeping with him because I thought it was about what he was doing. When I started having sex with other people, I continued to climax easily, often when I wasn’t trying. I realised my orgasm wasn’t about someone else holding this big key or secret. It was down to me.

With every partner since, I’ve orgasmed consistently – unless I’m a bit pissed. When my partner of eight years and I started having sex, I asked if he’d noticed. Most men have taken my ability to orgasm as proof they’re great at sex. That annoys me. It positions women as unsexual beings not in control of their own bodies. My current partner isn’t like that at all. After I come, he continues to do stuff to me and it’s taught me that once I’ve orgasmed, sex doesn’t have to end.

In the past, I thought there was something wrong with me. I Googled ‘premature orgasm’ and all the results were about men. I felt like I was the only one. I still have no idea why I find it so easy. But I’ve learned what works for me, and do the things I know will make me come, like putting my body in certain positions when I’m close. Now this skill makes me feel powerful. Coming just feels wicked.”