CRAZY BEAR

BUCKINGHAMSHIRE

The antithesis of all the bland hotels sold to us as “romantic”, Crazy Bear definitely lives up to its name decor-wise. All of its 45 rooms are maximalist, particularly the suites and junior suites, which will invigorate all your senses – every possible immobile surface is pleasingly tactile. There are black marble bathrooms, shiny copper or silver bathtubs (some are filled from a tap in the ceiling), giant rococo-inspired beds, padded or mirrored ceilings and leather-studded floors and walls. And it’s not just the bedrooms that are extra – the bar and three restaurants are in-your-face too, with stuffed zebra heads wearing bling necklaces and over-sized chandeliers. While you’re there, book a Thai massage – you’ll have your treatment in a candlelit room draped with purple and gold fabric – and relax in the outdoor pool or Moroccan-themed lounge. It’s OTT, but that’s the point – forget boring, neutral hotel design, this is fantasy time.

SEXY EXTRA

At Crazy Bear’s bar and restaurants, Wednesdays are dedicated to champagne, with all bottles going for half price. Well, if you insist…

From £299 per night, including breakfast; Crazybeargroup.co.uk