Cosmopolitan (UK)

please stop using removable pads d s



I think we can stop playing this game we play. The one where you jam squishy, triangle-shaped pads into all my bikinis and workout tops and I take them out immediatel­y after I’ve purchased them.

It was fun at first, honestly, but now I have a mountain of floppy beige things in the top of my chest of drawers that serve literally no purpose. Before you ask, yes, I’m too lazy to find out how to dispose of them correctly. And no, I am not interested in repurposin­g them as stuffing to maintain the shape of my tall boots. (Let's be real – it would be too gross to see them aII spiII out whenever I got dressed.)

Also, guess what? Every person with boobs agrees with me (submitting here for evidence every single conversati­on I’ve had with anyone on this topic – and I start most of my conversati­ons with this topic). Although we concede that your intentions were good – it was a nice thought to add a little extra shape, volume and nip coverage – these pads have never really worked. Most are too thin to add any oomph, or to prevent showcasing how cold seawater – or the air conditioni­ng at the gym – really is. Instead, they introduce questionab­le geometric elements to already tricky outfits and, most disturbing­ly, seem to have minds of their own. You just never know what they’ll get up to.

To wit: I have seen not one removable pad stay where it’s meant to be. After one trip through the wash, they’re bunched in a random corner or folded in half, or else they’ve escaped completely, never to be seen again. Or just one of them has, and its remaining counterpar­t is all, “I dunno, don’t look at me.” I’ll admit that if they were sewn into place, these things may actually serve their purpose a little more. But emphasis on the “may”, because I think we all know they’d still mutate or shrink or otherwise make even the most symmetrica­l pair of boobs look wonky as hell.

So maybe don’t put pads in and see what happens? If anyone misses them after they’re gone, I’ve got a whole pile going spare.

 ??  ?? Dramatic? Us? Never…
Dramatic? Us? Never…

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