‘Masturbation sex’ is my

Becky, 32, from Nottingham, is looking for romance – without the sex

My sex toy collection is getting out of hand. Vibrators, bullets – I have a box full of goodies under my bed. I love my sex life. But it might not be what you’re thinking. I’m asexual, which means I have little sexual attraction to other people. Masturbation is my sex – and I’m happy with that being the full extent of my sexual experience. I’m still romantically attracted to other people though, so I’d like to date someone who can accept me for who I am.

Some boyfriends have found it difficult to understand and have made me feel like there was something wrong with me. These reactions make me worry and sometimes make me feel like I’m broken. In society, we’re taught that sex is everything and there isn’t much focus on other types of intimacy in a relationship.

There have also been guys who have expected me to change and have gone into our relationship thinking that I’d give up my boundaries and have sex with them eventually. Or they refuse to date me entirely when I tell them – which makes me feel shit because it feels like the only thing they want is sex. That’s why I’ve been single for a couple of years.

Despite my love life being different to others, I love dating and I’m feeling confident. I’m going on a first date soon and I’m excited to get to know someone new. I usually wait until third date territory to discuss being asexual – I feel like if they know me better, they’ll understand me more. Even if we don’t end up connecting, sometimes my dates become friends – and I’m happy with that, too.