SEX PARTIES HELPED MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY BODY

Nisha, 27, from London, spent years in monogamous relationships, but then she got into kink

I’ve spent my life in monogamous – and pretty vanilla – relationships. But during lockdown, I started chatting to people online in the kink scene – it got me thinking about what I want. So, in August, I went to my first ever sex party.

I’d just come out of isolation, so it was intense, as I’d been deprived of human touch for 10 days – and there were half-naked people everywhere. It started like a normal party; I even bumped into people I’d been chatting to on Instagram. I’m usually an anxious person, but I knew what I was into. The best way to explore what you like sexually is meeting other people who aren’t afraid to share their own kinks and have an honest conversation about each other’s boundaries. I’ve discovered so much about my own pleasures by playing with other people at sex parties. It feels like you’re in it together.

I was apprehensive, but I’d be more nervous going to a regular party where I don’t know anyone. I look back to four years ago when I was hospitalised for disordered eating and although I’m recovered, my body image has always been shaky. Sex parties have made me way more confident. You have a lot of people complimenting you – not in a leery way, just supportive people reminding you how amazing you are.

I use a dating app called Feeld, which is how I set up my first polyamorous date. Initially, I was terrified. I kept thinking ‘I’m going on a date with a couple, what’s happening?’ But I had such a good time. I stayed at theirs, we had sex and they made a fry-up for breakfast the next morning.

It’s so different to traditional dating – there’s no pretending or playing hard to get. No one’s scared to explain what turns them on and what doesn’t, which translates into way better sex. Today, I can look in the mirror and say ‘You look sexy.’ Sex parties have given me confidence in myself, my sexuality and my body. I’m not looking back.