The new plant parent’s guide to keeping them alive
Trust the process
Let’s face it: there’s a pretty high chance that your plants are dying a slow, tragic death at this very moment, à la the final season of Game Of Thrones. And hey, no judgement at all here (also, same) – plants are hard! Lucky for us, then, that these very easy, kinda genius tips from Christopher Satch (@BotanicTonic), actual plant scientist and professor at the New York Botanical Garden, will ease our weary minds and help our greenery thrive.
GIVE THEM LIGHT
If this is the only thing you read on this page, it will (probably) be enough. Pretty much all plants want to be as close to a window as possible. Sad windows with minimal light mean you’ll need to stick with low-light plants. Big and juicy southfacing exposures get brightlight plants. Got it? Great.
KEEP POTS UNPLUGGED
As in, they need good drainage, so get a pot that has both a lil hole in the bottom and a tray to catch any excess water. Also, be sure to repot your plant every year or two in a vessel that’s one inch larger to give it fresh soil and room to grow.
WATER REALLY, REALLY WELL
Plants in hot, sunny windows need more frequent watering than those on windowsills facing brick walls, but the process is the same: (1) saturate the hell out of that soil until water comes out of the bottom, and (2) let it dry out completely before you water it again.
SKIP MISTING
Except for orchids and other epiphytes (IYKYK), your houseplants don’t need moist air. Excess water around their leaves just puts them at risk of moisture-loving fungi. Gross.
QUARANTINE FOR PESTS
When you spot the signs (have a look at our decoder), move the plant far from others and spray it with insecticide (neem oil is too weak, FYI). Keep at it until the bugs are gone.
AND FINALLY...
May we recommend shopping for the types pictured above? Note: if you’re buying a plant only for the ’gram, maybe think about a fake one.