How to role-play when you can’t act

Nervous to play pretend? We’ve got you

Sure, SATC ’s Samantha literally started sleeping with a pro actor to bring her fave sexual fantasies to life, but she was always a little extra. If you’re nervous to play pretend for hotter sex (or your acting skills are more ‘I was the donkey in my school nativity’ than ‘My Oscars speech is ready to go’), we’re on it. Here’s how to get it right on your first take.

Play what you know

Actual actors do full character studies, but you can just think of roles you’re already familiar with, from real life (masseuse and client) to pop culture (superhero and whoever’s lucky enough to hook up with a superhero). Starting with a known scenario cuts down on prep so you can get right down to business, explains sex therapist Vanessa Marin.

Set the scene

‘I recommend starting at home, where you’re more likely to feel comfortable,’ says Marin. If you can’t get in the headspace of a lusty lit prof boning their top student next to the pile of half-clean clothes on the chair in your bedroom, maybe lead your eagerto-please pupil to new territory, such as the living room… as long as, you know, your housemates are out. This show doesn’t need an audience.

Get in costume (or don’t!)

No costume designer or stylist on your ‘set’? Keeping it simple with a couple of props can be just as sultry, says Marin. She suggests improvising with stuff you have at home and imagining the rest. Put a regular old tie on your otherwise shirtless ‘accountant’ (the naked-er, the better, right?), and voilà.

Lock down the plot

No need to write a legit screenplay, but agreeing on a few basic cues can help with nerves and logistics, says Marin. If you’re a client meeting your personal trainer, maybe you agree (over a series of NSFW texts throughout the day) that he’ll punish you for every squat set you can’t complete. By the time you get to your sweat sesh, you’ll already be warmed up.

Learn (a few) lines

Similarly, having go-to phrases at the ready can help keep things moving along if you’re stumped. Before you get busy, ‘try to think of what you’d say in the actual situation’, says improv acting coach Kathy Yamamoto. Then add a kinky kicker: ‘It’s been cold without the heating... thank god you’re here to fix it! If you get warm once it’s running, feel free to strip down.’

Laugh off the bloopers

This is so not the time to act all serious, says Marin. Role-play is about ‘having fun in the bedroom and reconnecting with your partner. So if someone says something that’s out of character, giggle about it and then jump back into the scene with each other’. Aka, prepare to crack up. A lot.

Don’t go all ‘Rotten Tomatoes’ on your partner

After your grand finales, share notes, such as, ‘That changed my life!’ But keep negative critiques to yourself, says Yamamoto, as feelings can get hurt easily when it comes to *art*. If you’re up for doing it again, talk about anything that tripped you up. Or suggest a new fantasy, seeing as you’re award-worthy at banging.

Breaking and entering? Don’t mind if I do