Oh, the agony!

Agony aunt Mrs Hudson solves your dilemmas

Daddy daycare

QOur daughter and her husband live locally to us, which is lovely as it means we get to see lots of them. However, it does mean that she is quite fond of dropping the grandchildren off while she ‘runs some errands’—errands that often take the majority of the day. Neither my wife nor I have the stamina to care for a baby and a toddler unaided—it’s hard enough doing up our own shoelaces these days. Yet how can we say no? L. H., London A

Grandchildren are lovely indeed, but preferably in smaller doses and with someone else to do the bending and lifting once one reaches a certain age. I think

I could say no quite easily—your daughter and her husband must be aware that two smalls are enough of a handful for anyone, let alone grandparents. Perhaps you are nicer than I am, perhaps relations are fragile, but it sounds as if a sneakier approach is needed.

I find my doorbell with a camera attached quite useful, in that it allows me to check who is at the door and pretend not to be home when it suits. If this isn’t an option, try sending the children back smeared in chocolate and full of sugar, singing bawdy and age-inappropriate ditties you have taught them over the course of the day. If that isn’t enough to encourage your daughter to pay for appropriate childcare, sell up and retire to the countryside for some peace and quiet —and hope they don’t follow you.

In need of advice? Email your problem to mrs.hudson@futurenet.com