the RUFF GUIDE TO... Labradors
In the first of our new series for dog-lovers, we celebrate one of the country’s best-loved breeds
Not long back, I gave myself food poisoning after eating a questionable fish pie. I spent two days in bed, feeling sorry for myself and cheered only by the fact that Kip, my Labrador, never strayed from my bedside. When the rest of the family had decided I should be left to stew in my own juices, Kip showed his true Labradorian colours. I’ve yet to meet a breed as loyal or loving. But then, as someone who has only ever owned Labradors, there could be a small chance I’m biased.
Labradors are famous for three key qualities: friendliness, trainability and a hearty, largely indiscriminate, appetite. Their biddable nature has also made them a popular working dog, whether for shooting or therapy. Such trainability also makes them excellent family pets – dogs and children can be a hazardous combination, so a calm, obedient temperament is a boon. Kip spends so much time being brushed, dressed up and cuddled by our three girls, I’m not sure he even knows he’s a dog. One of my favourite photos is of him as a puppy being pushed around in a kid’s pink plastic buggy. He looks like the Queen of Sheba.
A Labrador’s brain often seems to flit between two opposing forces – gregariousness and loyalty. If anyone trundles down the farm track, or gets as far as the back door, they’re greeted with Kip’s cacophonous barks. It can be intimidating. The fact that his tail is also wagging furiously, or he has rolled over to have his tummy scratched, makes the whole performance confusing for everyone.
Labradors live to please. It’s what makes them such trainable dogs. A well-tutored, working Labrador is a joy to behold and a genuine asset
to its owner. Training classes will get the best from your dog but there’s lots you can do at home. Beyond the usual ‘sit’, ‘stay’, ‘drop’ and ‘lie down’, the children have taught Kip some nifty extras. Thanks to their efforts, and the dog’s endless patience, Kip now gives a paw, fetches, waits, rolls over and will take on an agility course with aplomb.
Anyone who has ever owned a Labrador will know they have their foibles. Kip’s list includes stealing shoes (usually, irritatingly, just one), staring intensely at you while you eat, and lifting his leg on almost anything stationary. Once, he tiddled on the leg of a smart lady at a drinks party. Thankfully she didn’t notice, but I quickly made my redfaced excuses and left. Many of the faults laid at the paws of Labradors, however, say more about their owners. Labradors aren’t ‘clingy’, for example; they just like human company. They also can’t resist water, however murky, but that’s part of their heritage: the original breed was a fisherman’s dog, capturing escaped fish and bringing in the nets.
Labradors are also well known for doing a ‘vanishing act’ if they’re off the lead, whether at home or out walking. But I challenge anyone
Labradors aren’t clingy; they just like human company
Labradors live to please. It’s what makes them so trainable
to match our previous dog’s record. Jake slipped his lead in York city centre and disappeared into the ether. Two weeks later, after many weepy phone calls to the RSPCA and endless posters, we received a message from Skipton, more than 40 miles away. It turned out that Jake had been picked up by a taxi driver, taken home and treated to two weeks’ worth of prime mince, with beef-and-onion crisps on the side. His new ‘owner’ only checked whether he was microchipped after a fortnight, and was surprised to find he already had a family. Needless to say, it all ended well, although Jake seemed surprisingly reluctant to leave his five-star accommodation, with its cordon-bleu catering.
As most owners will tell you, the way to a Labrador’s heart is through its stomach. They’re notoriously greedy and, according to a study by Cambridge University, are the breed most likely to be classed as obese. Kip gets plenty of exercise to keep him fighting fit, but there’s not much I can do to curb his appetite, and he regularly finds quite disgusting things to eat when we’re out and about. About a week after my fish pie poisoning, he spent a miserable night with a gippy tummy and sad eyes after wolfing down something unspeakable in the field. Needless to say, I returned his loyalty and never left his bedside…