Nick Hallissey,

Deputy Editor

Miles walked this month: 55 ‘To hug the mountain’

It happened subconsciously, but my piece about Ingleborough (p48) was written in the style of William Shatner. In 1989, he directed the film Star Trek V, in which he, as Captain Kirk, climbs the face of El Capitan in Yosemite National Park. To tie in with the film, he recorded a now-legendary video in which he rambles on for 20 minutes about ‘the magic and mystique’ of climbing mountains. ‘Kirk is on the mountain’ It’s a masterclass in Shatner’s famed talent for beautifully pretentious drivel, with gems such as ‘he wants to hug the mountain, to envelop it, to make love to it’. In fact it’s such gold dust that YouTuber Fall on Your Sword sampled it and turned it into a glorious jazz-funk-disco track called Shatner of the Mount, with nigh-on three million views.

‘Because I’m in love’

He concludes: ‘Why do I climb the mountain? Because I’m in love.’ And I only realised in hindsight that my ode to Ingleborough ends almost exactly the same way. I should probably say sorry, but on the other hand, weirdly, I’m quite proud. Me and Shatner. Pals.

Note to self: Boldly go and hug that mountain again. It’s a great way to live long and prosper.