One small step for the babies will be one giant leap for daddy’s sanity
DOUBLE TROUBLE FOR A FIRST-TIME DAD OF TWINS
DESPITE a lot of support, persuasion and pleading, the twins are still not walking.
If I were to be more encouraging, I’d say they’re nearly mobile because they can hang onto things and shuffle.
I did see Thomas standing the other day – he saw me, got excited, jumped and fell over.
The problem is, ‘nearly’ walking is not actually walking in the same way ‘nearly’ swimming is drowning. They’ve got a decent excuse as they were born five weeks prematurely but even talking that into account, they’ve passed the magic milestone of one year and that’s exactly when all the people pretending to be experts on the internet tell me they should walk.
There were also two of them hanging around in the womb, which means they were born a little smaller. Thomas was a tiny 3lb 7oz so maybe that affects the speed with which they gain mobility.
Friends and relatives are united in saying, ‘treasure the days when they’re not walking, it’s a nightmare, they get everywhere, nothing is sacred, we nailed cupboard doors shut’.
That’s true, but occasionally I’ll ask, ‘when did your offspring start walking?’
“Nine months, little Balthazar was incredibly advanced for his age and by the time he was the same age as your two, he could dance the foxtrot”, they reply.
My main motivation to get them moving is so we can leave the house without the kind of baggage Mariah Carey requires for a mini break.
Last Sunday, we decided to drive into town and show them the Christmas lights.
By the time we’d filled the car, loaded the babies, driven there and found the lift out of the car park, it was dark. The friendly family shoppers had been replaced by annoying drunk Christmas revellers shouting across the street.
It made me yearn for that magic day when I will shout, ‘we’re going’ and they just put their coats on and walk out of the house (I imagine).
Unfortunately, this looks a long way off for Emma. She’s certainly no weaker or less developed than Thomas but he’s trying very hard to walk whereas she lacks ambition.
Laziness is too strong a word for her as I think it’s more manipulative than simply not being bothered.
Through a crack in the door, I watched her confidently stand up in her play pen, then, just as I burst into the room and shouted, ‘well done’, she sat down. And who can blame her? Why would you be in a hurry to walk when there’s a halfwit to carry you or push you everywhere you want to go in a comfy buggy?