My lack of maternal instinct is a worry
QI’ve just had my first baby and while I love her, I don’t feel like I’ve got any maternal instinct at all. Is maternal instinct something that develops, or is this likely to be the way I’ll always feel? A
Parenting influencer Hollie de Cruz, a hypnobirthing coach and author of Motherhood Your Way, says: “Because of the way family life is commercialised, we can subconsciously develop very set – and often warped – ideas of what being maternal looks like.
“These pictures we create in our minds can be very different to the reality that unfolds when we become parents, and this can lead to feelings of inadequacy, guilt and overwhelm – all of which distract us from the subtle bonds and connections “And it’s the same with love. that are happening within and “We all feel, show and share love between us and our new baby. in ways that are as unique and
“Instinct and maternal wisdom wonderful as we are, and there are lies deep within us all, but it doesn’t no hard and fast rules as to what this necessarily surface overnight. should look like between you and We’ve been conditioned to your baby. follow the crowd, chart “Your love doesn’t have every milestone, and to be loud or bright to compare ourselves burn deeply, so give with our peers, and yourself a bit more none of those things credit for creating and are particularly complimentary nurturing this sacred to nurturing relationship in your or strengthening own gentle ways. our own internal GPS. “You are enough and you
“When we can learn to turn are always doing better than down the noise of societal opinions you think you are.” and pressures, and experiment with doing things our own way, we can focus our attention inwards and use that energy to be led by our baby, and trust in what they are asking from us.