How to… sneak a bike into a hotel room
As the nights close in and the temperatures drop, your thoughts might turn to an autumn cycling trip. If so, you’ll want to avoid your bike being bundled into an inadequately secured hotel storeroom by keeping it by your bed (much as you do at home).
The first rule is never, ever ask permission. You’re just inviting someone to say no. In fact, it’s surprising how often just walking past the reception desk wheeling a bicycle arouses no interest at all. This will most often be the case in very cheap hotels, where no one cares, and very expensive hotels, where they will politely overlook it, then quietly add the cost of redecorating an entire wing of the building to your room service bill.
You most often get complaints in mid-budget operations. There are a number of tricks to try. For a start, you’d be amazed how often removing the wheels and taking the frame and wheels in separately completely bamboozles them. Even carrying it upside down can cause enough confusion to make it to the lift.
If you have a bike bag with you (and you probably do), put the bike in that. Then it’s luggage. If you feel cheeky, make them carry it to the room for you.
Whatever you do, don’t do what a friend did and snap angrily, “At least she’s not a prostitute,” at the receptionist. It gave her the most disturbing idea of what he was planning to do with the bike once he got it upstairs, suspicions which she shared with the hotel’s other staff and most of the residents.