How to… ride a berg

If you live in a flattish area, you can inflate the importance of whatever minor hills you have by calling them “bergs”, in the Belgian style. Just stick an adjective on the front as a pre-fix (“Chapel-berg”, “Deadbadger-berg”, Where Martin Fell Off-berg” etc.)

Riding a short steep berg is a special skill. It has almost nothing in common with long climbs, which are all about threshold power to weight. Bergs are about sprint power to weight, so they favour a distinctive type of all- round rider.

Bergs being short, there are tactics to deal with. The standard recommendation is to start the climb near the front of a group so you can fall backwards through the group and still be in touch at the top. This is fine advice. It was equally fine advice when it was given to every other rider in the whole bunch. In practice it only works if you win the mighty punch-up to get to the front for the start of the climb, and that’s probably more exhausting than just riding up the damn hill a bit quicker.

Some bergs are cobbled. If you’re a professional road racer your best option is to try to get into the gutter, where the road is usually smoother. If you’re not a pro racer, your best bet is to stop, freewheel slowly back down, and find a less miserable way of getting to wherever you’re going.