Grieving for the athlete you used to be

Grief can be triggered by many different things, not only losing a loved one. A decline in sporting performance or inability to partake in your usual activities, for instance, whether through injury, age or other factors, can be accompanied by a painful sense of loss.

Trina Parker is a loss and bereavement specialist. “When someone has a sport taken away from them for a period of time or forever, or when they notice that their abilities are waning, the emotions they experience follow a similar pattern to those experienced during a bereavement. It could creep up on them or come out of the blue, but there’ll be denial, anger, depression. It can be a rocky road to acceptance.”

For many of us, sport – in particular cycling – is part of our identity. It’s a core source of motivation and self-esteem, and often the bedrock of our social lives. Worsening performance can make us feel ashamed or diminished, despite it being natural and explainable. By seeking support from family and friends, it is possible to adapt to the changes without quitting sport or hitting the point of despair.

Every athlete is able to prepare in anticipation of the grief that may come with performance loss. “You can manage it so it’s not such a big impact, and so you don’t cling onto something that’s not there,” Parker explains. “You can no longer perform at your previous level, so how else can you get the positive feeling sport gives you? Set new targets, and readjust expectations. There’s always something else to motivate you. It’s why a lot of exprofessionals go into coaching.”