THERE ARE A HANDFUL OF CLIMBS KNOWN BEYOND ROAD CYCLING FANS.

Mont Ventoux – weather station, looks like it’s on Mars – is easily in the top three (the others vying for the top spot being Alpe d’huez, hairpin parties; and Col du Tourmalet, most used climb in Tour de France history).

‘The Giant of Provence’ has three routes to the top, but the default is the one that sets off from the village of Bédoin. Used predominantly by the Tour since Ventoux made its race debut in 1951, its summit has seen races won and lost over the years.

Thousands flock to France every year just to pit themselves against Ventoux and the Mistral – a wind that batters it and anyone on it with inhospitable conditions; venteux literally translates as ‘windy’, after all. Since 2020, riders have also been able to test themselves against almost a mile of climbing from the comfort of their own home courtesy of Zwift.

The France ‘world’s’ ‘Ven Top’ route is a Gps-accurate carbon copy of Provence’s ‘Bald Mountain’ (albeit starting slightly outside of Bédoin), challenging pain seekers against 20.9km and 1,534m of elevation. It also holds the crown of being the longest ascent on Zwift.

As one of those weird cyclists who quite likes climbing, I thought it only right to try my hand at ticking off an ascent of Ventoux (minus the Mistral). Infinitely longer than anything I’ve encountered in real life, I knew pacing and tactics were key; I’d keep my cadence consistent, have a gel every 20 minutes, and not let my heart rate go into the red – simple…

From the very start, the road (unsurprisingly) starts to ramp up. Staying in my larger chainring, I try to warm my legs up while not burning through any matches before the real fun begins. As the gradient creeps up to 6% around 4km in though, I make the click down to the inner ring, reminding myself of the fable of the hare and the tortoise.

It’s not just the gradient that matches that of the real thing. The foliage, buildings, and surroundings are influenced by those of Ventoux proper, and the lower slope’s green fields and villages soon make way for pine trees and cable cars in the sky. On the road, words of encouragement are scrawled onto the virtual tarmac, but my focus is elsewhere. The