BEACHCOMBER

98 YEARS OLD AND STILL HUMMING THOUGHTFULLY...

AYOUNG gentleman just rang me and asked whether I was aware that 31 per cent of Dads who drive know the words to Pharrell Williams’ Happy.

“Who,” I asked, “is Pharrell Williams and why is he happy?”

After he had explained that Mr Williams is a popular tunesmith and that ‘ Happy’ is the title of one of his most successful recordings, I answered his original question. “No,” I said, “I was not aware that 31 per cent of Dads who drive can recite the lyrics of that song, but I am aware that 31 per cent of people have joined the organ donor register. Perhaps they might consider singing the song with accompaniment on the organ, always assuming, of course, that it’s a small enough organ to get in the back of the vehicle they are driving and still leave room for someone else to play it for them, as I believe it is an offence to play the organ while in charge of a motor vehicle on a public highway.”

“Well the driver’s son may well be in the back of the car already, for the figure comes from a survey conducted for Skoda Octavia cars which shows that about three- quarters of fathers sing along with their children when they go for a drive. The aforementioned Pharrell Williams song comes top of the list of those they sing, with Lady Gaga’s Poker Face in second place on 22 per cent.

“I have heard of Lady Gaga,” I said. “I am told that she is a fine performer with great musical talent, though I must say I have always had doubts about her title. I cannot recall seeing her name being listed among the new peeresses in any of the Birthday or New Year honours lists. She may, I suppose, be the wife of Lord Gaga, but there are so many lords who could be described as gaga that it would take too long to check the marital status of all of them. I find your 22 per cent figure interesting, however, for that is the percentage of people who say they have trouble sleeping. Do you think that might be because they keep getting woken up by Skoda cars whizzing past full of families belting out Lady Gaga hits?”

“We call the phenomenon of vehicular family singsongs ‘ car- aoke’,” he said. “It’s clearly a very popular way to pass the time on a journey, though I must admit that our survey also reports that 37 per cent of children find it embarrassing when their Dad joins in singing their favourite songs.”

“And 37 per cent of people admit to illegal downloading,” I added. “Perhaps that’s what’s making the kids embarrassed. Singing along and waking people up is bad enough, but singing along to an illegally downloaded track is just embarrassing.”

“What do you do with your offspring on long car journeys?” he asked. “I don’t drive,” I said. “And if someone else is driving?” he asked.

“I must admit I’m quite partial to singing along with a bit of Verdi,” I said. “In the original Italian of course.” “And the children?” he asked. “They just hum along to the surtitles,” I said, and we left it at that.