Poet’s pad is a dream home

PAM AYRES’ glorious golden Cotswold stone listed Cirencester manor house is for sale. The 18th- century property comes with 20 acres of land and is way beyond my price range but I can’t help coveting it with every fibre of my being.

I was 13 in 1975 when Pam, pictured, reduced the country to fits of the giggles with her gently rib- tickling verse. We were all utterly beguiled by her mischievous grin, lilting accent and remarkable ability to express what we were feeling more vividly than we could manage ourselves and rhyme at the same time. Describing her love for the home she raised her children in and from which she is now downsizing, Pam talked of being raised in council housing and constantly being told to “get off someone else’s land”. Being mistress of Norcote House meant she owned every inch of countryside as far as the eye could see and no one could ever tell her to “sling her hook”.

Any house in which Pam happily composed the poems that have done so much to sustain our nation must emanate delicious vibrations. How lucky the next inhabitants will be.

FORTUNATE enough to take part in the 2012 Thames Pageant aboard the royal shallop Jubilant, listeners to the BBC heard me shout at the top of my voice: “Your Majesty, Vanessa Feltz here, congratulations. You look magnificent!” Not perhaps the most professional of broadcasts but most definitely my most heartfelt expostulation of all time.

She may not fancy making a fuss but Madam, a hearty mazel tov for tomorrow. You have done a cracking job so far.