BEACHCOMBER

99 YEARS OLD AND STILL KICKING RHYMES AROUND...

AT last, with easy roads, he came to Leicester ( Shakespeare): The bombs may drop in Syria, economies may slump; The figures on obesity may say we’re all too plump; The minister of health may seem to be a total chump; Americans may even soon elect a man named Trump. Above all things, however, there’s a fact we can’t deny, This feat is harder to believe than thinking pigs can fly, No Walter Mitty fantasy, no far- fetched, vivid dream, No long- shot’s ever equalled the result of Leicester’s team. Of all the things in all the world that bring us joy or grief, Of all the revelations almost shattering belief, Of all the European news from here to Tenerife, There’s just one fact undoubtedly we’d have to say is chief: Emotionally causing us exhaustion and fatigue, The premier division of the English football league, Through bold, unprecedented and quite admirably gritty Performances, has ended in a win for Leicester City. There’s huge debate about the European referendum As EU regulations come too fast to comprehend ’ em; The camps are filled with refugees with nowhere else to send ’ em; While bankruptcy keeps facing Greece however much we lend ’ em. But let’s not dwell on all these dismal problems we now face, Instead let’s praise the winners of the year- long title race. The problems of the world are bound to stay with us and fester, Forget them, raise a glass and toast the gallant men of Leicester. There’s Manchester United, City, Chelsea, Arsenal, Spurs, Such teams are long- revered by football’s so- called connoisseurs, Dismissing Leicester as no more than would- be saboteurs. Now all the greats all seen as overrated bon viveurs. This year they’ve all performed much worse than anyone expected, While Leicester romped to victory as though somehow protected. The pundits missed the cause that underlies these paradoxes: For none could catch up Leicester since the ban on hunting Foxes. And did those feet in ancient time besiege a rival’s goal? And did they canter home so leisurely it seemed a stroll? And did each player perfectly perform his vital role So well the sum of all the parts was greater than the whole? We’ve thought that couldn’t happen since the days of Aristotle, But now we know it can with parts that show sufficient bottle. So praise the man who made a football Mozart from Salieri, The manager called Claudio, the wizard Ranieri.