Listen up,

Emotion coaching is the best way to boost your children’s self-esteem and improve their behaviour, according to parenting expert MELISSA HOOD

the following steps may help to restore harmony.

STAY CALM

We need to remain composed if we are to help our children deal with their emotions and not be overwhelmed by them.

Your calmness can influence their state. Hugs, holding and stroking trigger the release of oxytocin (the calming chemical in the brain). Powerful feelings can be scary for a child. If we seem afraid of their feelings then children feel overwhelmed.

We need to show that we understand these emotions and we know what to do with them.

LISTEN WITHOUT OFFERING ADVICE

Stop what you are doing and show your child you are interested in what he or she is saying. Sitting close to them or having a cuddle may help calm things down. Eye contact is not essential. Some children find it easier to talk when they are doing an activity alongside you.

IMAGINE HOW HE OR SHE IS FEELING

Put yourself in their shoes. Can you understand the personal attachment your child has to a toy and the deep pleasure they get from playing with it?

Can you imagine how it feels to have a favourite toy taken by a sibling and perhaps damaged?

Does that toy represent their territory which has already been invaded by the very existence of the interloper sibling? It may not be so much about the toy but the relationship between the children and their experience of having some control.