‘I constantly say, I wish, I wish, but you can’t turn back time’
to her father. She said: “At first he would turn up at my house, a short walk away, but could not remember why.
“One day he put tea in the kettle and turned it on. Another time he put baked beans still in the tin in a saucepan on the gas stove.
“Once I had a call from the police. I had put my phone number in my dad’s pocket as he was frequently getting lost. He was beginning to lose his balance and get paranoid.
“He thought the police were outside the house or someone had been in and stolen money. Those things didn’t happen and they would often lead to arguments.”
One in three people born this year is expected to develop dementia at some point.
There are now 850,000 people in the UK living with Alzheimer’s, the most common form of the harrowing illness, a number set to rise to two million in 30 years.
Arlene said: “Through the last three years of his life it was like being on a train going through a tunnel. The mind was constantly being wiped until you got to the end and it was complete darkness because there is nothing left.
“At the time my father had dementia there was a lack of understanding. My knowledge of how to help was thin. I didn’t realise for a long time what the word ‘dementia’ meant; I thought it was getting old.
“When you are on that emotional roller coaster it is difficult to understand how to help. Now I would start by being honest about what was happening. I would search very hard every method there is of retaining memory. I would do everything possible and if I could not care for him I would want to find a place that could and was exemplary in every way. A lot of people have the ability to take care. I’m not sure I am that person.”
Multiple Olivier Award winner Arlene, who has two daughters Alana and Abi, found fame choreographing dance troupe Hot Gossip and the smash hit film Annie. She was also a favourite on Strictly until she was dropped by the BBC in 2008, allegedly because of her age.
The campaigner and Alzheimer’s Society ambassador is now supporting Dementia Awareness Week, which starts tomorrow, in an effort to promote better understanding of the crippling condition.
She said: “I have never been shy about telling people my age. I can’t stop the process. Whatever it is we dread can happen at any age but we can’t live in fear.
“Do I worry what might happen in the future? Yes, but not that it could be dementia.
“It could be one of a number of diseases so I can’t start living my life worrying. I worry about so many things already.
“I have told my daughters to just go and live their lives and find happiness. I will be fine.”
Alzheimer’s Society is urging people to confront dementia head on during Dementia Awareness Week which runs until May 21. For more information visit alzheimers.org.uk/ DAW or call 0300 222 1122.