WILL STRICTLY TURN ED BALLS INTO A NATIONAL TREASURE?
After losing his seat in last year’s general election the former shadow chancellor is hoping he can dance his way back to popularity
AFTER the former Cabinet minister Ed Balls lost his seat on polling day last year, he repaired to his election agent’s house in Morley, West Yorkshire, poured out 30 glasses of Harveys Bristol Cream and handed them round to his campaign team. When the toast came it was “To the late Ed Balls” and everyone laughed – including the man himself.
Now the politician whose hopes of waking up as the new chancellor on May 8, 2015, were dashed by a shock Tory win is poised to resurrect himself via Strictly Come Dancing when the new series gets under way on Saturday.
The question is: can a man who never really wowed the public with his oratory win a place in the nation’s affections through some nifty footwork?
It is not impossible. There’s something about the British psyche that makes us susceptible to being charmed by anyone who is willing to make an idiot of themselves for our amusement.
Take the experience of our very own Ann Widdecombe who was teamed with Anton du Beke on the show in 2010. No one, especially Ann herself, would have her down as the Margot Fonteyn of the 21st century.
As she wrote recently: “It took Anton about two hours to decide that the less time I spent with my feet on the floor the better and thereafter it was comedy all the way.” But Ann’s game approach won her a loyal following and it was not until week 10 that the self-confessed “dancing elephant” was voted off.
THERE are signs that “Glitter” Balls, 49, may be inclined to take things a little more seriously. After all he has form for adopting a conscientious approach to new pursuits. When he decided to run a marathon for the first time he embarked on a rigorous training programme. When he took up the piano he set himself challenging goals and has achieved Grade 5 on the instrument.
Balls’ biggest problem, however, is his existing public image. As henchman-in-chief to Gordon Brown, one of the most unpopular prime ministers to occupy Number 10, he could not avoid being tainted by association.
It didn’t help that in Parliament Balls had a reputation for enjoying the skulduggery that goes with climbing up the greasy pole. Even the Labour-supporting New Statesman magazine described him as the party’s “most polarising politician”.
David Cameron christened Balls “the most annoying person in modern politics” after the then shadow chancellor baited him on the floor of the Commons. Balls got his comeuppance the PARTNERS: Balls with dancer Laura Whitmore, and wife Yvette Cooper next year when he delivered what chancellor George Osborne described as “the worst reply to an autumn statement I have ever heard”. Stammering, “Blinky” Balls mistakenly said the deficit was “not rising” and, amid jeers from the government benches, never recovered.
In a blistering riposte Osborne noted that his opposite number had been forced to cancel his Grade 3 piano exam in order to make it to the House that day and the Tory side roared with laughter when he added: “I think he should have gone ahead with the Chopsticks rendition.”
Balls later explained his performance by saying that his stammer had “got the better of him” and argued that responding to the autumn statement was like “doing a wedding speech when you don’t know either the bride or the groom”.
But he may best be remembered among the younger generation for a social media fail that went on to be celebrated on an annual basis. “Ed Balls Day” commemorates the day in April 2011 when one of his aides advised him to search for an article about himself on Twitter.
Instead of typing his name into the search bar, the tech-unsavvy MP posted the words “Ed Balls” as a tweet. The sight of such a high-profile politician being feckless enough to tweet his own name had Twitter users in stitches and it was retweeted more than 40,000 times.
As one commentator said: “Balls may be clever and crudely effective – annoying people often are – but he is indisputably one of those politicians who make you want to reach for your Bren gun.”
But there were always qualities that hinted at a more attractive character lurking behind the mask of the win-at-all-costs politician. Balls’ lack of personal vanity was one. His hairstyle has remained stuck in the 1950s throughout his career and when he took to the pitch for the annual pre-conference football match against a team of journalists the Labour heavyweight betrayed no self-consciousness about the belly heaving against the constraints of his skin-tight football strip.
He was also unpretentious enough to dress up as Santa for the Westminster Kids’ Club Christmas party where he handed out presents.
The children loved him for it. What remains to be seen is whether this father of three, who is married to Labour MP Yvette Cooper, can pull off a similar trick with adults while dressed in a sequined catsuit. Strictly Come Dancing is on BBC One on Saturday at 6.50pm.