BEACHCOMBER

99 YEARS OLD AND STILL WAITING FOR A NOBEL PRIZE...

BEACHCOMBER is in a state of shock at the news that the US songsmith Mr Bob Dylan has been awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature. He expresses his reservations in his own protest song. Come gather round wordsmiths

wherever you lurk, For the Nobel Committee’s rejected

your work, And their latest decision is rather

berserk, To deny you the honours you’re cravin’. To Dylan it’s gone, without even a

smirk, And the times they are a-changin’. Now writers of novels like Golding or

Grass, Must condemn the award as an

absolute farce, For the world’s inside out like a mad

looking-glass, And our art’s undergone rearrangin’ Our work’s been delivered a real coup

de grâce, And the times they are a-changin’. This tambourine man makes a mouth

organ sound, All with civil rights, anti-war words

interwound, But to win a Nobel should take

concepts profound, Not just anti-establishment ravin’. The ship of Nobel has I fear run

aground, For the times they are a-changin’. Come Lessing, come Beckett, come

Dario Fo, And tell this illiterate bunch where to

go, For their standards of literature plumb

a new low, With this war against values they’re

wagin’, For Dylan’s as slushy as old driven

snow, And his lyrics need a-changin’. Why not Murakami? Why not Stephen

King? For between them their writings

explore everything. Or Julian Barnes or Le Carré whose

string, Of fine works through all genres are

rangin’, From parrots to Smiley, from here to

Beijing, Their appeal is not a-changing. So why not give next year’s award to

Tim Rice, For his musical lyrics, ingenious,

precise, As they span Argentina to superstar

Christ, Making Andrew Lloyd Webber worth

stagin’, Let’s hope the Committee can heed

this advice, For the prizes are a-changin’. How can we explain what the Nobel

chaps did, In awarding the prize to the

tambourine kid? Does the ultimate answer just blow in

the wind, All our fears and doubts never

assuagin’? For the prize is worth more than a cool

million quid, And the times, they are a-changin’.