Happy Mondays
Leading life and happiness coach
HOW do you know if you are attractive? Or more importantly how can you tell that you are deeply unattractive? A friend looking for love on dating websites found in her area a motley crew of men: few had their own teeth, none smiled and one called himself Mickey the Maggot. Nice.
Whether your shop front is Prada or Primark it is worth having a good hard look at the face and form you are showing to the world.
Feedback is often a painful gift in disguise but after all, we would want to know if we had the equivalent of an unsightly wad of cabbage stuck on the front tooth of our psyches, so when in doubt ask a good friend, seek the help of a free in-store stylist or have a make-over at a beauty counter.
We have all got good-looking single friends who appear allergic to love and can’t seem to get arrested by the passion police, so it’s not just how we package ourselves that is the issue here. Often it is the off-putting habits and characteristics that can make us part crowds quicker than a water cannon could.
So how do we identify when we are being as appealing as a verruca in conversation, even if we look like George Clooney or come across as charismatic as cold porridge while rocking Audrey Hepburn’s grace?
Here I share some tips on the unseemly unseen you may be unknowingly displaying that can make the difference between you being cupid’s catnip or Eros’s aversion therapy.
Me, me, me – if you are selfabsorbed you are living in the one-person show of your ego. You are the most fascinating person in your world and sadly you are in the minority. It is time to see that other people exist. Employ curiosity and interest to put the drama show that is your life on hold for a while.
You are on permanent broadcast – you don’t have the self-awareness to shut up and see if other people are interested in your monologue. Think WAIT – Why Am I Talking? – and if you only hear your voice, you saying “I” constantly, then zip it and let your ears do the work.
You are a doom-merchant. When people ask how you are you see it as a great opportunity for a moan fest. The weather, your health, your work, life – it all sucks and you relish being mired in misery and bringing down the conversation. People like radiators not drains so be sure to leave your audience happy, energised and sparked up rather than depressed and depleted.
You are needy – nobody likes needy people. It’s a vortex we are all pulled towards yet know no matter how much kindness and good advice we pour in the needy person will remain empty and seeking attention. Take responsibility for your own life and stop expecting others to fill in your gaps.
Being competitive – life isn’t a competition you have to win. Bragging about your money, purchases, good fortune or wonderful life makes others feel uncomfortable and makes you look in deficit rather than blessed. We don’t know what we don’t know about ourselves but self-awareness is key to being a happier, more attractive person and those in your close vicinity will be very grateful you bothered to look at yourself too.