I was so upset I did not talk to anyone says Fab
CESC FABREGAS says his initial struggles under Chelsea manager Antonio Conte caused him so much anguish he told his team-mates not to speak to him.
So on the fringes was he, that it led to suggestions the former Arsenal and Barcelona midfielder could be on his way out of Stamford Bridge.
But Fabregas stayed put and on the day of his 300th Premier League appearance delivered his lines perfectly, scoring the first against Swansea on Saturday and passing to Pedro for the second.
“I know sometimes I didn’t play as much, but even in training I’m learning,” said Fabregas.
“Sometimes you think if you’ve been playing for a long time, won a lot, you’ve done everything – and then you realise in football you can never know everything.
“Hopefully I’ve reversed the situation from the beginning of the season.
“I decided I wanted to challenge myself. Not everything comes easy in life, sometimes you have to fight certain situations you are not used to and hopefully I can keep playing like that to keep my place.
“I can understand there are doubts with the philosophy of the manager.
“He came in, wanted to see if I could adapt and I can understand that. I’m someone who wants to play with the ball, maybe not so much the defensive side.
“But it shows I adapted to the way he wants to play and hopefully I can play more.
“Experience and maturity gives you this, because, in the beginning, when I didn’t play, I told people not even to speak to me because I was really upset.
“That changes with time. Age, maturity and experience helps you understand the most important thing is always the team. Don’t get me wrong, I want to play, but sometimes you have to fight for it.
“The easy way is to escape, to run away, to sulk and to want to leave, to create a drama.
“What keeps me going is the fact that I feel really good, I feel in great condition to play football for a very long time. I know in my legs, in my mind, that I’ve played many more games than a 29-year-old is supposed to play.
“But I feel young in my mind. It’s all in the mind. Now with Conte, I’m learning new things, new situations, new manners, new football, new philosophy, which makes a difference. It makes it entertaining.” Fabregas, who joined Arsenal at 16, revealed he is now almost an honorary Londoner.
“I’m 50-50,” he said when asked whether he looks at football and life as a Spaniard or Englishman.
“Listen, England gave me a lot in my life, in my career. I really identify with England. With the lifestyle, education, everything. My daughter was born here, my wife is from here.
“Of course I’m Spanish, Catalan, but I feel really adapted to life here. I came here as a boy at 16, then I went back to Barcelona as a man and now I’m back and I will always be grateful to England in general, but London especially, with Arsenal and Chelsea.” And he dismissed any suggestion he had been looking for an exit. “For sure, it’s Chelsea I’m thinking about,” he said.
“Until the day Chelsea tell me they don’t want me, I can leave – and it happens to everyone. Then you have to move on.
“When my brain says you can’t do it anymore then I will move, probably away from Europe.
“I don’t want to plan things. But when I feel I’m not at the top, top level any more then it will be the right time to go.”
Diego Costa completed the scoring for Chelsea with Fernando Llorente’s first-half equaliser eventually proving only a consolation.
Llorente was wanted by Conte in last month’s transfer window but agreed to stay at Swansea in the hope he can score the goals to keep them up.
“The bottom line is he’s here as a Swansea player and fully committed,” said manager Paul Clement.
“Everyone has seen that against Chelsea and he’ll be very important for us moving forward.”